Faith Filled Family Magazine December 2016 | Page 72

Sqabbling Siblings
Silenced
BY LINORE BURKARD

I

n our case, it was two daughters. Constantly in each other’s face. The littlest remark
from one led to a riposte, which
led to another remark, which
led to another until finally one
of us parents would have to put
an end to the bickering. It was
draining and no fun for anyone,
least of all the two squabblers.
But they’d gotten into a habit of
nit-picking. What would start out
as an innocuous issue would escalate quickly into a true battle.

Nothing seemed to make a difference. And then one day I hit
upon a solution that was almost
diabolically effective! I remembered that when the kids were really little, I’d say to my husband,
“If they make me miserable (with
their behavior) I have to make
them more miserable.” Does
that sound cold? Perhaps—but
it’s effective!

With that principle in mind, I took
pen and paper and wrote out a
list of chores, things that always
I tried a few methods to put an needed to be done. Such as,
end to it, as it was disrupting “Do a load of laundry.” “Sweep
the peace in our home. Threats, the stairs, top to bottom, and the
rewards for good behavior, re- hallway.” “Do whatever dishes
voking privileges, you name it. are in the sink.” I purposely add-

ed chores that the girls disliked.
“Go right now and clean the toilet.”
I cut the list up, folded each chore
into a little square and dropped
them into a clear glass jar with
a lid. I put a tag around the jar
that read, “PICK ONE.” (You
could get creative here, and try
something like, “You’ve Earned
It!” or, “Have Fun!”) From then
on, whenever the girls went at it,
getting into a foolish squabble,
I’d take out the jar. If one of
them seemed to be the instigator, she had to pull a chore
out and do it. RIGHT THEN. If
I couldn’t tell who was to blame,
they both had to pull out a chore.