Faith Filled Family Magazine August 2016 | Page 62

God-ordained marriage. The
partner who tried to stay and
make the marriage work may
feel like a failure in this moment.
In that case, it is good to remember that God wants you whole
and peacefully content. Yes, it
hurts to see your marriage come
to an end. But better that, than
to lose your peace of mind trying
to force something that just will
not work.
It is good to fight to save your
marriage. But after you have
prayed, and waited on the Lord,
the decision is not only up to
you, but also to your spouse. If
after it is all said and done, they
still want out, then all you can do
is grant that request. At some
point, there will need to be a discussion on how to move forward
with the divorce and what that
will entail. It will be emotional
and very painful, yet it must be
done - one step at a time, one
day at a time. You can depend
on God to see you through this
difficult time. He promised to
“never leave you nor forsake
you.” Some days may be harder
than others. It may be hard to
even get out of bed some mornings, but just put one foot in front
of the other and know things will
get better.
The American Psychological
Association is the world’s largest association of psychologists. Included in their roster are
researchers, students, educators and consultants. They state
the following: “The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood
of emotions including anger,
grief, anxiety and fear. Sometimes these feelings can rise
up when you least expect them,
catching you off guard. Such a

response is normal, and over
time the intensity of these feelings will subside.”
They will, but it will take time. Initially, the flood of emotions will
indeed feel like a flood.
With the emotions come hurtful
words used as a weapon. This is
especially the case if there has
been betrayal and mistrust in the
marriage. Sometimes, a person
can feel so hurt and so betrayed
they desperately want to hurt
back and get even. They may
never pick up a knife or a gun
so the only way they can strike
back is with their words.
People think hurtful words are
just words and not a big deal.
There was no bloodshed after
all, right? Wrong! Your words
can be a weapon if not chosen
carefully. Jesus made it very
plain when He said, “A man is
not defiled by what enters his
mouth, but by what comes out
of it.” (Matt 15:11). Jesus knew
we would be hurt by others, left
alone, and even betrayed. He
knew what that felt like before
we did. Yet He gives us no rights
and no excuses to cause harm
with our words. It is when we
are the most hurt that we need
to be the most careful and even
be strategic in communicating
our feelings – especially to our
spouses at such a difficult time.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN TURN
THE OTHER CHEEK?
No, it is not easy to open our
hearts and forgive and be civil
or even kind to the other person
when they’ve hurt you so much.
Yet, that is exactly what God is
asking us to do as Christians.
How else can we show the love
and light of Christ than in those

dark places of our hearts and
of our lives that need it most?
Jesus called us “the light of the
world,” which means it cannot
be hidden even when we want to
just crawl into a space and hide.
So when those dark days come,
and the enemy tries to talk you
into staying in bed and not getting up, that is the time to rise.
Jesus says you are light. How
can light be depressed? Light
has to get up and shine. Easy?
No, not at a time like this – but it
can be done. We can go on knowing He is with us at all times. We
don’t need to be phony about it.
It does not mean smiling when
you really want to just sit down
and have a good cry. Go ahead
and cry. Just know that tomorrow is a new day, and another
chance to try to shine again.
We see in the Bible many marriages that took a turn from bad to
worse. They just did not divorce
so quickly in those days. They
stayed married but stopped talking to each other. They stopped
sharing with each other, and
stopped laughing together. We
can put two and two together,
(pun intended), by reading the
words that are not there as well
as by reading and studying what
is there.
Take Isaac and Rebekah for
instance. Their story started off
quite romantically with Rebekah
having been brought to Isaac
as a result of his father Abraham’s special request to his
servant. He wanted a woman
from his own country, the country of his people, not the women
t hat he saw around town. He
wanted someone special for his
son. Rebekah was that good