Faith Filled Family Magazine August 2016 | Page 40

memorial service is an integral
part of the mourning process,
that you should not be avoided.

tions they may have. Don’t try to
give advice unless they ask for
it and don’t try to take a shortcut through the pain. You don’t
Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NKJV)
need to have all the answers.
“Better to go to the house of As they go through the mournmourning than to go to the house ing process they will have good
of feasting, For that is the end of days and bad days. The smallall men; And the living will take it est thing could trigger a memory
to heart.
that could open up the delicate
Forgive In our own strength we wound once again. Don’t give up
would never be able to forgive on them. Stay with them through
someone who was responsible it.
for the death of a parent or a child
or a loved one. But our Father “Most people need love and
knows that when we don’t, we acceptance a lot more than they
are holding ourselves in captivity need advice.” - Bob Goff (3)
and that is why He commands
us to forgive (Matthew 18:2-35). Not everyone grieves the same
either. Some may wail or cry (and
Or maybe it is yourself you need in some cultures, it is expected),
to forgive?
but others maybe process their
This may look different for each loss differently.
person. Some may go to the
person and speak forgiveness Glynis recalls her husband’s
and some may do it privately in reaction after her son’s death: “I
prayer. Neither mean that we can still see my husband either
condone what the person did picking up leaves one by one
and neither mean they no longer in our swimming pool or standneed to be held accountable for ing and “brushing” the brown
their deeds. But we give the leaves of six conifers where they
burden of being the judge, over had turned brown with a carpet
to our Father who knows better brush and putting them into a
and we can focus on grieving dustpan. He did this for hours
and healing.
without saying a word. His grief
was kept inside to a large extent.
Someone once said: “Love is the He was the father, the man, who
greatest form of warfare”.
had to be strong for his family. It
took a long time for him to talk
HOW CAN YOU HELP THOSE about how he felt and once the
WHO ARE HURTING?
tears had been shed and we
were able to hold one another
1. Pray for them: Offer to pray up, the slow process of accepfor them in person often, but also tance began together.”
pray for them during your own
quiet time;
She also gives the following
advice for parents who lost a
2 .Listen: And when you are child, but it applies to the loss of
done, listen some more. Let your any loved one in an accident:
friend or loved one feel comfortable and safe to ask the ques- “My advice...is not to keep it in

and try to put on a brave front.
You only do more damage to
yourself inwardly with each passing day. Talk about it to whoever
will take the time to listen. Try
and remember the good times
you had, but most importantly
see a Therapist where you can
be yourself and cry as long and
hard as you like. Go out into the
garden and yell with all your
might or find a space where there
is no-one to witness your anger,
your desperation, your pain and
shout as hard and long as you
need. Write a letter to your child,
telling them it is okay and you will
be strong in time. Tell them of all
the funny things you remember,
the antics, the naughtiness and
the Mother’s Days where they
did their bit and served mom
cold scrambled eggs, toast, juice
and a flower on the tray that was
brought to her in bed.”
IN CONCLUSION
Th ere are many verses in the
Bible that speak about God’s
perspective on grief. And even
more on His faithfulness. He is
faithful to carry you through your
grief. He is powerful enough to
handle the questions you have
and He loves you enough that
you can bring everything to Him.
One of the students of the University of Georgia crash was
19-year old Christina Semeria.
A little “giant” nicknamed “Tini”
by those who love her, and a
leader in every area of her life.
In the days after the accident,
Pastor Louis Giglio from Passion
City Church where she served,
prayed the following prayer for
her family and those of the other
girls:
“Jesus thank You ...more than
ever for stretching out Your arms