Faith Filled Family Magazine August 2016 | Page 29

J

an is a 37 year old wife
and mother of two very
active children. She came
to my office more frantic
than usual. Upon inquiry, she
began to pour out a story of tremendous guilt and pain. Many
years previous, Jan had lost her
father through a painful divorce.
She was only six years old, yet
the fear of abandonment and
rejection had continued to grip
her life. On this occasion, Jan
shared her confusion regarding
her father’s recent death. She
hardly knew him, how could his
loss have affected her so? She
had been to the altar and prayed
many times for forgiveness, and
to leave her father ‘at the altar’
like her church had told her to.
She could not understand why
she could not get the victory
over her sadness and hurt.
I have heard countless cries of
woe like this over my several
years of counseling ministry.
Frankly, it never gets easier; the
pain of grief and the need to fully
mourn the loss of people, events,
even our hopes and dreams is a
major problem for many in the
church. So many people suffer
needlessly because they do not
understand the process of grief
and the fact that relief is prom-

ised by our Lord.

8: 38, 39). And of course, when
thinking of the promises of the
Grief is an emotional and physi- Lord, we will think of the 23rd
cal reaction to a significant per- Psalm. God’s promises are true,
sonal loss. We usually only think and we have also found through
of grief in connection with the the study of human responses to
loss of a loved one in death, but death and dying (especially Elizit is experienced in at-least two abeth Kubler-¬Ross’ work) that a
other areas as well. These are:
process for grief, also known as
mourning (from the original word
1.Loss of relationships, such to remember), ca rt be found.
as friends, children (when they Each individual must process
leave home), separation of hus- through grief in their own unique
bands and wives, divorce, loss way, but these phases are uniof animals.
versal to the majority.
2. Loss of significant situations,
like a business, youth, goals and
dreams, and self or identity.

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.Shock - an initial feeling
of numbness and disbelief
which usually lasts for only a
brief period. However, if the time
In spite of the complexities of the of shock lingers, it can lead to
grief response, there is a prom- severe problems requiring treatise and a process. God’s prom- ment.
ises are true; “The-Lord is near
unto them that are of a broken
.Denial- not wanting to look
heart; and saves such as be of a
at the situation, and precontrite spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He tending that the loss has not
has promised that he will always occurred nor has no real siglove us as his children. “For I gin nificance (often perpetuated by
persuaded, that neither death, the church). I have heard many
nor Ill nor angels, nor princi- people who have experienced a
palities, nor powers, nor things loss, try to minimize it. “It’s no big
present, nor things to come, nor deal”, “It must be God’s will’, etc.,
height, nor depth, nor any crea- are stated, insulating the person
ture, shall be able to separate us from seeing truth and moving
from the love of God, which is in towards recovery.
Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans

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