FACSAFOUNDATION.ORG SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR DOCUMENTARY PROJECT Volume 7 | Page 33

memory was hazy. But as time passes… much time, the pain will become less of a dominant factor
in your days. Be patient with yourself and don’t allow anyone to convince you when you should be
done grieving. Only you can know when you are done.
WHY
Once I processed the loss, I began to ask why. It seems like such an extreme solution to temporary
problems that can be solved in other ways. It is normal to keep asking questions until you have
come to terms with the answers, or the lack of answers, you have come up with.
After my loved one took his life, I tore apart the house, looking in every spot in every area seeking
answers; hoping that he left anything that would help me to understand why. The thing about suicide
is that even if we have answers, this is never an easy question to answer or understand.
GUILT
The endless strings of “If only I had done this or hadn’t done that, maybe he wouldn’t have taken his
life” haunted me for a very long time. To this day, I still have a tendency to wonder “what if I....” What
can make things worse are when other people displace their own guilt by placing blame on you.
It is quite a common occurrence with suicide survivors to place blame on themselves or others for
the suicide. While it is normal to want to find someone to blame, and though the situation is difficult
to understand, it is important to recognize that the person who died by suicide is the only one who
can be properly blamed; as they are the one who has made this decision.