FACSAFOUNDATION.ORG SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR DOCUMENTARY PROJECT Volume 2 January 2015 | Page 21

What Every Parent Needs To Know About Pedophiles and Grooming BY CONNIE LEE I am often asked, how can you spot a pedophile? The answer to that is, you can’t. They look like your neighbor, coach, teacher, lawyer, judge, law enforcement, clergy or pastor, anyone, because they can be anyone. It does not matter if they are rich/poor, educated/uneducated, race, religion, or gender. There are certain characteristics and habits that pedophiles possess, as well as questionable behaviors which are telling warning signs. It is important to distinguish between a pedophile and a sexual molester. A pedophile has strong recurrent sexual fantasies about their victims and usually the target of their affection is less than 12 years old. They see nothing wrong with sex with a child and feel it is healthy for the child. They not only target one child, but can target many simultaneously. They can be single minded and focused to stay close to children, until they get what they want; which is one of their defining trademarks. They may even marry a single mother to get close to the child. A child molester usually desires power, fear, and control, as exhibited in many homes of domestic violence. Often a pedophile is a single male, over 30 years of age, single, and with few friends. If married, their intimate relationship is usually strained. He may be vague about employment time gaps or previous living addresses. Their hobbies are ones that would appeal to the age of the children they seek to groom and rape. Almost all pedophiles have a collection of porn that they refuse to get rid of and protect at all cost. Some pedophiles prefer children around the age of puberty, while others prefer them much younger. They work around children, put themselves in position to babysit or any need a single mother or a distressed parent may have. Some pedophiles will molest their own children and grandchildren, while others will molest and rape outside of the family,