FACSAFOUNDATION.ORG SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR DOCUMENTARY PROJECT Volume 2 January 2015 | Page 21
What Every Parent Needs
To Know About
Pedophiles and Grooming
BY CONNIE LEE
I am often asked, how can you spot a pedophile? The answer to that is, you can’t.
They look like your neighbor, coach, teacher, lawyer, judge, law enforcement,
clergy or pastor, anyone, because they can be anyone. It does not matter if they are
rich/poor, educated/uneducated, race, religion, or gender. There are certain
characteristics and habits that pedophiles possess, as well as questionable
behaviors which are telling warning signs.
It is important to distinguish between a pedophile and a sexual molester. A
pedophile has strong recurrent sexual fantasies about their victims and usually the
target of their affection is less than 12 years old. They see nothing wrong with sex
with a child and feel it is healthy for the child. They not only target one child, but
can target many simultaneously. They can be single minded and focused to stay
close to children, until they get what they want; which is one of their defining
trademarks. They may even marry a single mother to get close to the child. A child
molester usually desires power, fear, and control, as exhibited in many homes of
domestic violence.
Often a pedophile is a single male, over 30 years of age, single, and with few
friends. If married, their intimate relationship is usually strained. He may be vague
about employment time gaps or previous living addresses. Their hobbies are ones
that would appeal to the age of the children they seek to groom and rape. Almost
all pedophiles have a collection of porn that they refuse to get rid of and protect at
all cost. Some pedophiles prefer children around the age of puberty, while others
prefer them much younger. They work around children, put themselves in position
to babysit or any need a single mother or a distressed parent may have. Some
pedophiles will molest their own children and grandchildren, while others will
molest and rape outside of the family,