FACSAFoundation.org Shattering The Silence Tour Documentary Project February 2015 Volume 3 | Page 15
Validation: Accept what you hear. Many survivors fear they will not be
believed. They are afraid that their experience will be minimized as “not
important” or made into a catastrophe. Let the survivor state her or his
views, feelings, beliefs, and opinions. Do not be judgmental.
Empowerment: Allow survivors to direct their own course of action, no
matter how much
you think your idea would help them. An assault takes
away the victim’s power and control over their self and situation; regaining
that sense of control helps the survivor in the recovery process.
Information: Present survivors with resources and available options.
Initially, the victim may be so overwhelmed that it is impossible for them to
hear everything. Be patient and willing to repeat yourself. Respect the
person’s decision as to what to do.
Privacy: Assure survivors that you will keep the matter private. Explain that
you may need to consult with resources to understand how to help her. If
total anonymity is necessary, you and/or the survivor may get information
and support without revealing your names.
Listen: Let survivors disclose as much about the assault as they are
comfortable with. Do not press for details, as this can feel intrusive
and controlling.
In responding to the survivor use the same words she or he does in describing the
event. If the survivor uses the word “rape,” then use it in reflective listening. If the
survivor uses the expression “something bad happened,” stay with that. Be
empathetic, non-judgmental, and help the survivor feel safe. Avoid labeling the
experience for them. Remember, survivors may feel guilty and responsible. You
can reassure them that no one deserves to be assaulted and it was not their fault. Be
particularly sensitive if a survivor has special needs based on ethnicity, gender,
religion, sexual orientation, and/or disability.