The Kingdom of God needs to be at work among us first , before the lost will see the difference . We learned to communicate well , respect and empower each other . The safe space that we shared amongst ourselves created a healing environment for those to whom we are reaching out to .
How did this change impact our work with the homeless ?
Previously , we placed a lot of emphasis on alleviating their economic and physical problems , and even considered creating a shelter and advocating for better policies for them . But we realised that it was not the key breakthrough they needed . Homelessness is often rooted in multiple family issues and is the end-product of failed relationships , poor self-identity and unresolved parental wounds .
Our first priority then , was to re-establish the entire ministry by introducing a God-oriented family culture into their lives . Many of the homeless say they have no family , and no home . But in God ’ s kingdom , everyone is valuable , and everyone has a place . God gave us a new slogan for our ministry , “ Know Home , Know Family ”, to reflect His desire to redeem the isolation that the homeless feel and give them a sense of belonging .
We saw this happen in powerful ways this year . Once , our team prayed about what we should do during our weekly night visit to the streets . We received an impression of us sitting on cardboard , having dinner in the dark corridor where three uncles slept , along with the words , “ Eat together as a family .” So we called , and told them that we were preparing a feast , to dine with them . To our surprise , they divulged that two of them were born on that very day . In the middle of our joyful feast that night , R , one of the birthday boys , suddenly stopped to make a speech . “ Never in my life has anyone done this for me . No one has ever bought so much food , and spread it out like a feast to celebrate my birthday before . You truly are MY FAMILY and I thank you .”
Since R comes from a different culture , it meant a lot for us to hear that he embraced us as his kin . The acts of making him feel important , as well as spending relaxed family time together , were more than enough to transcend religious and cultural barriers and make him feel at home .
Besides fostering their sense of belonging in God ’ s family , we also teach our homeless friends that God is a loving , responsible and protective Father who can heal the deepest wounds of their hearts . We help them walk through the pain of wounds inflicted by their parents , siblings , spouses , children and enemies who had wronged them . Those wounds are often the root cause of many unwise decisions and unfortunate consequences suffered by the homeless .
We worked with another homeless man , A , for seven years . At first , he appeared to be mentally unsound as we spent long hours listening to his incoherent stories and problems . It was excruciating but we chose to be a safe place for him to share . The more A verbalised his thoughts , the more we realised that he was not demented . In fact , it was his extreme anxiety and hopelessness that caused this seemingly irrational behaviour .
Instead of listening intently to him as a valued individual , many of us had written him off as being mentally unstable . What he really needed was a family with whom he could process his emotions and who would confront him with hard truths whenever he made mistakes . He was surprisingly receptive to us , even when we challenged him to busk for a living ! The world is craving for loving fatherhood that cares enough to bring gracious correction .
Today , God has empowered him to thrive in this new job . A ’ s newfound stability is amazing and he now entertains us with well-articulated stories from his life ! We find ourselves enjoying his company instead of dreading the hours .
The story continues to unfold . One day , A ’ s sister showed up at our door . We thought we were in trouble . Imagine our surprise when she said , “ I don ’ t know what you do here . We practise different religions , but my brother really respects and listens to you . I need your help to continue guiding him .” She invited us to her home and our friendship has grown since then . She has also opened her home to A for temporary refuge until he gets his HDB flat . This is our vision fulfilled : familial relationships of the homeless , restored .
We have also learnt the importance of relating to our homeless friends by being spiritual parents to them .
The homeless men we have met are either divorced , estranged from their children , or unable to commit to relationships . As we listened to their stories , we realised that many of them did not know how to be fathers , husbands , or sons . Hence , we intentionally modelled God ’ s fatherhood to them and challenged them to rise to their role as the protectors and leaders in their family .
On the other hand , many of the homeless women have been deprived of father figures and maternal comfort in their lives , leading them on a fruitless search for comfort and protection through toxic relationships .
One of our homeless ladies was celebrating her birthday , and our team felt that it was important for the men to demonstrate the way Christ laid down His life down for His bride ( Ephesians 5 ). This lady had been abused and rejected by numerous men in her family for over 50 years . That night , our Trolley brothers treated her like a queen – pulled out her chair , took her orders and served her food . This lady whispered to me , “ I noticed that on ( another brother ’ s ) birthday , the men sat with him . But today , on my birthday , the men are running around , serving me .” She was visibly touched . We saw so clearly that when a broken woman receives the love that Christ has for His bride , she is restored in hope , and in her feminine identity .
Despite all these moving encounters , one of our greatest turning points came from a negative experience . There was a terminally-ill uncle whom we housed for a year . During his stay with us , he needed to change many lifestyle habits in order to manage his health but he neglected to do so . Even though there were so many of us who cared for him , he chose to leave one day , without a word . No one was able to trace his whereabouts . We found out later that he had passed away shortly after .
God convicted us then , of the times we had focused on making these men and women happy and comfortable , simply because they were in pain . We had failed to ‘ parent ’ them as God our Father would , by setting them loving and life-giving boundaries to keep them safe . Through this valuable lesson , we are convinced of our role as spiritual parents , committed to love in a godly way and impart truth to those who need transformation .
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