s u rr e nde r
And Relinquish Control
For my birthday in 2012, I decided to gift myself
with an unforgettable sunrise at the peak of Mount
Batur, an active volcano in Bali. Set at 1717m above
the ground, it’s renowned for its beautiful display of
the first light of day. To ensure a successful ascent, we
made sure we were thoroughly prepared. But when
we arrived at the peak, the gorgeous sunset we’d
expected was masked by a heavy fog. We had done
everything we could to reach the mountaintop, but the
magnificent sunrise was still not within our reach.
While caring for my mom, my husband and I also
suffered two miscarriages and several failed attempts
via treatments to start a family. This roller coaster
of emotions threw us either into moments of great
anticipation or deep sadness. But God has been
faithful and carried me through the entire journey as
I surrender my situations, weariness, and grief to Him.
As I embrace the crises, God sustains and grows my
faith, and I find myself growing stronger and resting
fully in the Lord Jesus Himself. I now entrust my mum
to God, as He knows best how to care for her during
this illness. I rely on Him, who will guide and teach me,
as I try my best to love, care and journey with her.
That day, I learnt that it doesn’t matter how prepared
you are, some things are just beyond your control. But
God showed me, through a father-like figure whose
strong and firm grip was incremental in pulling me up,
through every step of the hazardous climb, that He
is sovereignly in control, even when I’m not. His ever-
present help is unfailing, and His grace is more than
sufficient to carry me through the storms of life.
I have also learnt that God can use the brokenness
in my life to reach out and support others around
me. God lovingly takes our weakest and most painful
experiences to exemplify the strength and sufficiency
of His grace. My greatest desire is to grow and be
moulded by God, to be under His Lordship, so that my
life will give Him the greatest glory as I continue to
trust and hope in the unfailing One who is journeying
with me. Only then can I avail myself to help and
support others around me.
My life has been spiraling madly for the past 5 years.
But a timely reminder of these unshakeable truths
assured me:
WHEN THE OUTCOMES OF A
A friend once introduced me to a Japanese art form
called Kintsugi – “to patch with gold”. Instead of
discarding broken ceramics, the artisan repairs it with
gold dust on resin or lacquer, illuminating the damage
that embraces its imperfections. That is often how
God works as He heals us, while using our baggage
for something better, and a purpose that’s beyond
ourselves. We have all experienced pain in one form
or another, but with God’s help, we don’t have to bear
it alone, or remain defeated and broken. The more
convicted I am of His control in my life, the more I
see the gold He’s sealed my brokenness with, and it
deepens my trust in Him.
PLANNED LIFE DO NOT MEET OUR
EXPECTATIONS OR DELIVER THE
RESULTS HOPED FOR, WE CAN STILL
LOOK BACK AND BELIEVE THAT
GOD IS IN CONTROL.
Witnessing my mom’s slow and steady deterioration
with Alzheimer’s has prolonged my grief, and her
recent loss of speech left me completely helpless. We
had no control over her condition, and I didn’t even
know whether we were making her feel better.
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