A LIFE IN PROGRESS
By Ray Lucas
WHAT THE MIND
IS BOMBARDED
WITH, THE MIND
WILL ACCEPT
“
W
hat the mind is bombarded
with, the mind will accept.”
While in high school I heard
a speaker declare this as
part of his presentation. I can’t recall what his
greater theme was, but that quote has always
stuck with me.
“What the mind is bombarded with, the mind
will accept.”
I have since come to see a universal truth in this
statement. Marketing professionals have
long known this fact. You only need to think
about slogans from McDonalds or Coca-Cola to
know it’s true. “Like a good neighbor, _____ _____
is there!” As most who have heard that
State Farm commercial over and again, I’ll bet
you were able to finish the jingle.
As a new parent, some 21 years ago, I was
concerned about all of the negative messages
the world constantly communicates to young
girls. I was worried about my daughter hearing
messages that emphasized she wasn’t beautiful
enough, she wasn’t smart enough, or that her
PERHAPS
THE REAL
VALUE WAS
THAT I CAME
TO BELIEVE
THESE
STATEMENTS
AS I REPEATED
THEM, AND
IN SMALL
INCREMENTS,
THESE
MESSAGES
CHANGED
THE WAY I
SAW AND
PARENTED
EACH CHILD.
options in life were limited because she was a girl.
To counter all of these limiting messages, I began
to lean on that lesson from years ago and repeat
a simple message to her that I felt she needed to
hear and believe.
“You are smart, you are beautiful, and you can
be anything you want to be when you grow up,”
I would whisper into her ear each night when I
put her down to sleep. I shared these statements
because they were true. I also shared them in hopes
that she would absorb them and make them a part
of her character.
When my son came along a few years later, I
realized that these statements should be tailored
for him and focused on messages that boys need
to hear. “You are smart, you are creative, and I’m
proud of you,” I repeated most nights. It became
such a regular ritual that as he grew older, he
would interrupt me with mock contempt and an
eye roll saying, “I know, I know, Daddy! I’m smart,
creative and you’re proud of me. You don’t have
to tell me. I know it.”
When my stepson came into my life, I felt it was
important to add statements that were unique to
him: “You are smart, you are a positive leader, and
you are loved.” Being a stepfather is tough, and
above all else I always want him to know he is loved.
When our youngest son was about 2 years old, I
settled on what I thought he needed to hear: “You
are smart, you are joyful, and you are adventurous.”
He has always been a happy child full of laughter
and smiles, and I pray that always continues. I
hope he also embraces his sense of adventure and
discovery as he grows older.
Looking back, I should have included a little
bit of “self-talk” over the years. “You like folding
laundry, you are a well-rested parent and you
love eating vegetables with your kids,” would be
an aggressive start.
After decades of repeating these statements to
my children, it’s fair to ask the question, has it made
80 EXTOL : SUMMER 2020