Epunchng - Most read newspaper in Nigeria Sunday, August 13, 2017 - Page 19

Sunday Family Living with a stingy spouse GBENGA ADENIJI examines the views of married couples on the best ways to cope with tightfisted spouses T wenty-nine-year-old Mrs. Serifat Atobatele always encounters difficulty anytime she asks her husband for money. The development, according to the housewife, is responsible for her desire to start trading to meet her needs. “I am not a wasteful wife but sometimes, one can need money to take care of some pressing needs. I used to run a shop before marriage moved me to Lagos and I was unable to continue maintaining the shop. It was my husband’s idea that I should not work,’’ she told SUNDAY PUNCH. The fair-skinned woman further said that apart from money for feeding, her husband doesn’t like giving her money for other things. She added, “I think it is stinginess. He doesn’t spend on me. I try to manage the little he gives me to cater for my five-year-old daughter. If I ask for more, he would tell me that it is not easy to get money. If he doesn’t have money, I would understand. He has. I think if I am working, things will change.” The same situation is what an Ondo State-based graphic artist identified as the problem with his wife. Sola, who said he refused to make it an issue so that people would not label him a lazy husband, described his wife’s stingy nature as extreme. “I am aware that she has money as she earns more than I do being a nurse. But she keeps her money and expects me to provide everything. It is an attitude I noticed before we got married. She hardly jokes with her money. I thought she would adjust after marriage but I was wrong,’’ he said. The Director of a Plateau State-based theatre outfit, Total Stage2screen, Mrs. Jumoke Laka-Fashakin, advised couples with stingy partners to first get busy and work towards making a good living. Laka-Fashakin stated, “What I mean is that they need to have a constant source of money no matter how small. The reason is that you will have to cover up for their lapses while you wait for the change in their behaviour. Also, stop panicking and getting angry, it will take you or your family nowhere. “Also, realise that your partner needs help because stinginess is a psychological issue. Find out what makes them behave that way. It could be that the partners went through much lack earlier in life and the fear of not having enough makes them stingy.” Noting that many reasons could make a person stingy, she said some of them included pain from being milked financially by people who they once dated. “You must find the root cause. Finally, talk to your spouse about it calmly and in a good environment. 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