Entrigue Magazine December 2014 November 2012 - Page 22

They made me feel like I was ugly because I have dark skin. The worst for me was constantly hearing how much my mother didn’t care about me and how I was going to grow up to be just like her. Fortunately that was not the outcome for me but I cannot say the same for my oldest sister. Today she wanders the streets of Brooklyn getting high. I will never forget the morning I received a vicious beating before school because I did not want to eat oatmeal. My foster mother took a hard plastic yellow bat and beat all over my body until I had big whelps and bruisings. She almost made me stay home but I begged to go to school and she threatened to beat me again if I told what she had done to me. My teacher noticed something was wrong and that day was the beginning of the full separation between my siblings and myself. I was placed into a group home. A couple years later my little sister was raped in that same foster home and became pregnant, yet the system still allows children to be placed there. I really don’t understand it. DB: On the cover of your single “EMPTY” you have a dark tear and you enhanced the scars in your face to make them more visible what is the thought behind doing this? M: My single “EMPTY” is a reflection of my pain and hidden wounds. My mother worked really hard to get herself clean and was able to get us back and soon after we went into a homeless shelter. One night while walking into the shelter I was attacked by a resident and an outsider, my face was cut multiple times. I was then dragged into a park where they were attempting to kill me. If not for a bystander intervening I would probably be dead. That attack resulted in me receiving 300 hundred stitches inside and out of my face and at that point I felt like a hideous monster. Here I am the black ugly girl with scars. On the cover of “EMPTY” I pulled my hair back and enhanced my scars because I am no longer ashamed. I want people to see my beautiful black scared face and accept me for who I am. The blood tear represents the release of all the pain I have endured and hid inside for so long. I don’t want to hide anymore. This is me. DB: Spending time with you and talking with you it appears you are positive and strong how are you emotionally really? M: I have been through a lot in my life and even if a genie came along a granted me three wishes I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t dwell on things I do not have control over. My faith in God allows me to move f ݅ɐѡЁѥ$ݥѠѡͽ$ٔ$Ёхѡȁ役ȁɅѕ]ԁɕ锁ԁٽхЁݡԁѼՔȁɕ45䁵ͥɹ䁉ѡѕȁݡɔɅٔ$݅́ɥٕͼѡ́ЁѡѡѡЁɕ䁍ɕЁ݅́ѡ́ɽɅ$eЁɅ܁ѕѥѼЁ͔Ёݽձٔх݅䁙ɽ$ݽձ݅ЁչѥєЁЁݡٕ役ݕЁѼͱ͹䁱ѕѼѡHхѥ$ɕȁɕѕ$݅́ѡѥЁѡɅɕѥѡ́٥͠䁱屔䁡ѕȁ$݅́Ѽѡɽ$͕݅́eЁչхݡɔ$Q$܁݅́ȁѡЁ́ݡ$ɕ镐$݅́䁽ݸ$ɕȁ٥ͥѥɥѥ䁙аЁٕȁٕȁȁ́չѥ݅́ձ$eЁɕ锁ЁЁѡЁѥЁѡЁ݅́݅䁽ѥ她ݥѠ͕$Ё٥ͥ$݅ѕ݅́ѼЁٕѡѡͅ$ձeЁ ɔ$܁аɥѥɹѼݽɑ́ɽѡ՝́ѡ՝́ɹѼɥ́ͽ̸$ɕѱݕЁѼձեЁ䁍ɕȸ!܁݅́Ёȁͥȁɥé!є ɔMɥMյȀ́ѥq!e I%L=Q!@ 1UMt4=ȁɥ݅́ѡЁɥ́$ٔѡ́啅ȸ!́ݽəհͥȁɕЁɥ]䁍͕ٕ́Ʌѕɕɥ͔́eЁչхȁѥݔٔɕѥٔչ丁ɥٕ́ԁ ɔٕ́ԁمєɑͼٕ́ԁ5Ը]ͭѼ́͡܁$݅́ɕ͔$՝́ѡљЁ$ݽɔ݅́́ɕѥ́ѡЁ$ЁѼ((ȁɥՔ5饹9ٕȀ((0