Entrigue Magazine December 2014 November 2012 - Page 21

DB: Have you reconnected with your brothers and sisters? M: My siblings have always been physically reachable but we have no emotional connection due to our dysfunctional upbringing. DB: Where are your biological parents and do you have anything you would like to say to them in this article? M: My father recently died of a heart attack and my mother is still alive working on her own internal demons. If I could say anything to my mom I would say: Mommy, even though you weren’t there to protect me, and you weren’t there for my accomplishments, or to guide me through relationships or to teach me right from wrong. You weren’t there to tuck me in at night when all I wanted was you. This makes me question if you ever loved me. Was I a mistake to you? DB: That was very deep. When was it that you decided to pen “EMPTY” and what was going through your mind that day? M: The words are a reflection of my own emptiness. When the producer played the track it immediately spoke to me, I never felt more connected to anything in my life. The words just poured out. “EMPTY” allowed me to let my guard down showing my vulnerable side. People use to tell me that this wasn’t the music I should be doing because I don’t fit the image so I did the music they wanted me to do. I was so busy trying to make others happy I neglected my own happiness. While writing this song I allowed the doubt, pain and negativity that I’ve endured openly run through me and that’s when I decided it was time for the world to know me for who I really am and not who everyone wanted me to be. DB: What type of verbal abuse did you suffer and by who? Was it other children your age or the parents in the foster homes? M: The abuse in my foster home was verbal and physical by the hands of my foster family. I was called hurtful names like floozy, hooker, b*tch , blacky, darkness all sorts of cruel things. Photography: Adrian Alicea Hair Styled by: Cherry Special effects makeup by: Yolanda Merritt Designer: Adrian Alicea Entrigue Magazine | November 2012 21