Encantado Magazine 2018 JUNE Issue | Page 50

A Better YOU Written by: Gina C De Baca every single night in the hospital since then. I have watched him become unresponsive and semi-comatose only to come completely out of it and become alert. I have felt his temperature decrease to the point that I get cold sitting next to him to being warm within a few hours. He may have opted for hospice, but he is still fighting. If I wasn’t sure before, I am now positive that I H ello and wel- come to June’s edi- tion of A Better You. This month I will continue to touch on being the best version of yourself when living through trying times. While preparing to write this article, I reread last month’s article to see if I continued following the path to be the best version of myself during the most difficult time of my life. Some things I continued, others I did not. While reflecting, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that no matter how hard I try, there are going to be moments that I fall short. This makes me human. This makes me authentic. Looking back at the last month and really reflecting on what I faced and how I managed to get through it put a lot of things in perspective. Even when we are not up- beat and positive, being authentic still means you are the best possible version of yourself. Rather than sugarcoat or hide the fact that I struggled, I openly admitted my feelings and emotions. Isn’t honesty authentic? Okay, so my constant crying and hypersensitive behavior wasn’t peaches and cream, but it was real. When you are vul- nerable and raw, you may not feel you are at your best, but in that moment, you are. got my strength and perseverance from my dad. Watching the man who has molded your life go through these devastating changes at the end of life has been heartbreaking. Every day that I have my dad I wonder if I made him proud and think of ways to pull myself When I submitted my article last month my father was together, so I can accomplish one thing that will make about to start chemotherapy and radiation. Unfortu- him smile so he will stay proud of me. nately, things did not work out like he planned. We are unsure if my dad had a reaction to the chemotherapy or I am still not taking very good care of myself. I recog- had complications with his tracheostomy, but halfway nize this, so I am sure once this chapter is over I can through his treatment a rapid response was called. After start to heal. I am in desperate need of better diet, ex- he was stable and was moved back to his room a code ercise, and sleep. Making myself a priority will become blue was called. That moment set the course for the rest essential to healing, which will get me back to the best version of myself possible. of my father’s life. He made it through that horrific day and is still hang- The last nine weeks have been the most devastating in ing on. He opted for hospice that night and I have spent my life. As I sit and watch my dad fight a losing bat- A Better you