Encantado Magazine 2018 July Issue - Page 53

faith was all I had to hang onto, so even though I questioned finding the cancer sooner, being a better daughter, and even asking God to give it to me instead, I knew this was his plan. I do not like God’s plan at all, but it isn’t for me to question or un- derstand. I just have to keep my faith. feel. I cry a lot. More important, I recog- nized that I can’t do this alone, so I start- ed therapy. Talk therapy has always been something I turn to when I need emo- tional support. If you or a loved one is experiencing grief and you do not have a strong support sys- tem, please reach out. You can also go to www.grief.com. There are many tools and workshops available to help get you back on track. The fourth stage is depression. I am not a stranger to this stage as I have experi- enced it a lot in my life. This is another stage I am stuck in. All I do is cry. Every- thing reminds me of my dad and the pain is severe. While I am grateful that my dad Till next month, stay positive and em- (and I by default) are no longer suffering, powered. Much love. I am tremendously sad. I am finding my- self withdrawing from life. The simplest of tasks feel heavy and difficult. The final stage of grief is accep- tance. I have experienced this stage twice. Accepting my dad’s decision to forgo treatment and enter hospice was the first time. Picking up his death certificates was the second. There is a lot of finality with these experiences. Accepting these facts does not mean I am okay with them. So how I am I coping with this new life? I get up every single day and I show up. Even when I want to crawl in a hole and stay there, I don’t. I allow myself to 53