for what they believed in, and refused to be put in a narrow box. Some of them had big careers, some of them got smaller public recognition, some of them were not (gasp!) skinny, all of them had an adoring following who appreciated them for their authenticity.
~ Her life versus her career.
When we were doing her 'Wheel of Life’ consultation (evaluating all the varied aspects of her life) Monique saw that she has amazing friendships, close relationship with family, a fulfilling spiritual life, a great apartment, many fun activities she is engaged in, and that she loves to travel all over the world and perform in concerts and on TV. Her goals were to find a partner, have children, and eventually, to buy her own home. She was making great progress in improving her health, and had many interests she wanted to pursue, like learning a new language and aromatherapy. Monique was blown away by that consultation, it made her see her career as part of the whole and not as the only thing that would make her life worth living.
~ Making choices that reflect her values
I asked Monique how she would react if a dear friend was in the same situation. She told me she would be outraged. Mad. Furious! So far, Monique had been unable to get angry at her producers, she was too terrified to lose the opportunity of a contract with a big name record company. Seeing the situation in a more objective way by imagining it happening to a dear friend made her realize how unfair and damaging the messages in her industry were. Monique believes that women are beautiful and attractive in a variety of shapes and sizes, and that the pressure put on women in showbiz to be thin is unrealistic and often leads to eating disorders and mental anguish. She had always been outspoken about
it, yet, when it happened to her, she could not stand up for herself. Monique realized that her fears made her abandon her principles and herself.
~ What is REALLY important.
Monique had to look at what is really important in her life, and what she is unwilling to compromise on. Her priority list included having a solo career, having close and loving relationships, being healthy physically and mentally, and living her life with passion and joy. Those were all equally important and she was not willing to sacrifice one for the other. She made a decision to find a way to incorporate them all into her life.
At her next meeting with the record company, Monique decided to turn them down. She realized that the “weight issue” was just one of many ways she would have to give up control of her career and her life. It was a very difficult decision to make. Monique was encouraged by her friends, who supported her in her decision. She emerged from this experience stronger, more confident, and continued to live life with gusto and on her own terms. Monique is still touring the world as a backup singer with the industry’s top musicians. She found a smaller record label to work with. One that cherishes her and her talent, as as a result, she enjoys a modest solo career. Although to some it may seem that she lost her big opportunity to become the next global mega star, in actuality, Monique realized that it was no longer important to her. What she discovered was that she wanted a meaningful career, creative control of that career, good health, a life filled with joy, connections with family and friends, and fun; all of which she has in abundance.