FEATURES
EDUTIMES
HOW TO HANDLE FAILURE
By Rodrick Mulenga
Failure comes in many different ways and it can be
inevitable sometimes. I have failed several times in
different areas and I believe you have too. You can
delay failure but you cannot completely dodge it.
It will happen at some point. Remember Murphy’s
Law? What just has to go bad will one day have to.
Yes, we cannot avoid it, but in case you manage to
escape it, lucky you. We are talking about failure
experienced by students in school. Firstly, we will
have to get to understand what failure is.
Failure is the inability to reach your set goals. I
guess many can relate to this definition. Those of
us who have on many occasions failed to reach our
goals due to issues beyond our control or due to
problems we failed to address, can be said to have
failed in that area. There are two categorical types
of failure: the first one is intrinsic and the second
one is extrinsic type of failure. Intrinsic failure is the
kind that one feels inside when they do not attain
their goal. This kind of failure causes a sense of
shame, self-pity and inability. This is a very danger-
ous type of failure as it may lead someone to a feel-
ing of hopelessness and bondage. Extrinsic failure
is one that manifests; what we see from the outside
as it is experienced. Have you ever failed to reach
your goal, such that it ends up showing to everyone
concerned that you didn’t get what you wanted? An
example is failing an examination and other people
notice that you have failed. That is extrinsic failure.
Failure is a teacher: There was a time I failed in my
personal life and it was a very bad feeling. I don’t
like failure and the sickening feeling that goes with
it. I bet no one enjoys that feeling. My first academ-
ic failure happened when I was in University. I failed
a test during my Continuous Assessment. It was a
bad feeling going to see my Professor to find out
how and why I got a D in his course. It was humili-
ating. Failure will punch you in the face, it can affect
your self-esteem as it did to me. I was humbled but
I was not taken down. You need to develop certain
traits of resilience for you to be set apart when faced
with failing to reach your expectations in life…that is
what I did. The failure I encountered strengthened
me, it poked me and served as a wake-up-call. You
know what? Sometimes you need a setback to wake
you up and put you back in the mood of reach-
ing your full potential. I was just coming from High
School where I was flying high with my colourful
grades and I thought the same level of effort I ap-
plied in secondary school was still adequate to see
me through University, alas, it was not. The mo-
ment I was handed a zero mark from my Continu-
ous Assessment, I realised that I had to pull up my
socks... I started to push, work and press forward.
Failure to reach your goal should give you a reality
check; it should not drive you further into more fail-
ure. As the saying goes: Once beaten, twice shy, let
it be that when you fail to reach your goal once, let
that be a lesson to motivate you to work harder. I
have met many people who have told me how their
spirits were dampened by a small setback, to the
extent that their desire to win went down. It should
not be so. You must know that failure to reach your
goal once does not mean that you will never reach
it. Had I not pushed forward after my setback, I
wouldn’t have written any book and more to come.
Sometimes we fail so that we are reminded that
we are on the wrong track…the methods we are
employing are not working or that we have to up
our game. I don’t wish that you first have to fail to
know that failure is a terrible thing. You learn from
it if you fail by mistake, not by choice. If it was by
choice, some people might not be strong enough to
bounce back from failure.
Failure and success do not come by accident: Do
you believe this statement? You have to because it
is a fact. Let me get a bit philosophical here: noth-
ing on earth happens by accident. Everything you
set your eyes on, everything that is in existence
was pre-planned. I am a Christian…a believer who
knows that there is a spiritual power before every-
thing that you see. So, even with all that happens
around you, don’t think it happens from without.
You may think so but let me remind you that there
is an invisible force behind and before all that is in
your life. The successes that you have scored or
you will score do not come from without… they are
a result of your effort or the lack of it.
how I do it: I ensure that I write down how big I
want it, in what colour it must come, I even go fur-
ther to depict every little detail. For those who fail,
though there are many factors that lead to failure,
failing to attain what you want when you know what
it takes to get it, is tantamount to negligence. If you
want to become a Doctor you need to research what
it takes to achieve your dream, then follow through
all the processes to get there. This is what I am do-
ing with youths and schoolchildren, I ask them what
they want to become, once they tell me, I ask them
whether they know what it takes or not. If they do
not know, I take them through how to become. Not
knowing the process of becoming, is what deters us
from achieving our dreams. I encourage everyone
to ask trusted people that have become what you
want to become, to make it easy for you to become.
All things are possible if you believe and follow up
with hard work and commitment.
How to respond to failure: what do you do when you
are confronted with not reaching your goal, when
you fail? As I mentioned earlier, it is inevitable to
fail in one way or the other. At some point, you will
miss your mark. In such a situation, how do you
react? what do you do? There are many ways to en-
sure that disappointment does not get to you. First
of all, you have to calm down and understand that
you are not the first or the last to encounter failure.
Then you have to go through the scenarios that led
you to not getting the desired results. Sometimes
you do not even need much thought about your
negative results. You already know the reason.
All you have to do is start the process of coming up
with a plan to overturn that negative result. Seek
help from trusted friends and family that can com-
fort and encourage you. Get a support group where
possible, people who understand what you are go-
ing through. Don’t associate with people who will
laugh at you, instead of encouraging you to do bet-
ter. Do not give up on your dreams. In case you fail
in school or you don’t achieve your dream immedi-
ately, do not give up. If possible, rewrite the sub-
jects you failed. Just close your ears to naysayers,
pick yourself up and start rebuilding your life. You
will be surprised that there are so many people who
failed at first attempt but made it on the second try,
without amazing results. When you fail, try again
and all the failures of the past will be forgotten. But
if you fail and never try again, you will be constantly
reminded of your failure .
I want you to be mindful of this so that you get to
put your life in order and monitor your life. Every-
thing you do has consequences, either good or bad.
You may talk about Grace, well, Grace exists, but
that is a topic for another time. Proper success in
any area of your life must be pre-planned, it must
be written down in your mind and on paper. You
must state what you want, when you want it, how
much you want it and why you want it and if you are
able to answer those questions, it will be possible
to summon all the powers needed to get what you Author of “How to Succeed without Being a
want. Whenever I need something so badly, this is Genius in School”
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