A
s all child psychologists will tell
you, the calmer you are, the
more relaxed your children will
be. So how do you go about
soothing your frustrated child while
you’re doing your level best to remain
unruffled?
A valuable lesson to bear in mind is
if we as adults never say what drives
us up the wall – even the smallest,
most insignificant things – our children
might get the idea that we only feel
frustrated at the big things. Instead,
think about sharing examples of
smaller things that upset you, so that
your children can see how to handle a
hurdle and overcome it.
Finding peace
Figuring out the best way for your kids
to calm down is not easy. For some
it is spending time alone, or playing
outside. For others it going off to yell.
But if your child struggles to control
his feelings, you need to help him find
a way to settle down so that he can
move on.
Essentially it is fine for kids to have
big feelings, but it is how they handle
it that is important.
Below are a few “peace training” tips
to share with your kids when they feel
frustrated.
Everyday frustrations
• Allow him to feel disappointed
and frustrated over little things by
admitting that it is a part of life, but
that it is something he can handle.
This will prepare him for the bigger
obstacles to come.
• For some kids the anger and
irritability can go on and on, even
after you have talked about their
feelings and given them a chance
to calm down. However, sometimes
this is just not enough. In this case
it is important to set a very firm
time limit about how long they may
remain angry, for example: “You’ve
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had 20 minutes to be angry. Now
it’s time to move on.”
•• Speak in terms he understands
• According to experiences shared
by the “Be a Peacemaker” course
presented by the Playful Learning
eCademy*, consider an exercise
called “sensing peace” in which you
imagine what peace looks, feels,
smells, sounds and tastes like.
Does peace smell like the coming
rain? Does it feel like taking a
deep dive in the swimming pool?
Some kids might find peace in
playing under their bed. Once you
know what makes your child feel
peaceful, encourage him to imagine
that calm feeling using his senses.
• Choose your words carefully, for
example: “It’s all right to be angry
with your sister but it is not all right
to hit her,” or “It’s all right to feel
cross about having to tidy up your
room, but you still have to do it.”
•• Breathe and count to 10.
• Blowing bubbles is a wonderful way
to calm a child. Keep magic bubble
mix close by.
• You could consider practising
breathing exercises and meditation
with your child from an early age.
Not only will it help you feel better,
it will help him handle anger when
he is confronted by it later on and
in all spheres of his life.
• Laugh! It makes both young and
old feel better.
• Teach older kids the benefit of
finding peace within themselves.
It’s not only internal motivation to
feel better, but allows him to take
control of what makes him feel
stressed.
• If all else fails, encourage your
child to count to ten when he feels
angry, frustrated or overwhelmed.
Once he is calm, be sure to give
him a hug and tell him you love
him.
* Available online at http://
playfullearningecademy.com