(Above: Tamara Beachum (center) with participants at Camp Widow®, a weekend program for widowed persons
rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of the death of a spouse or partner.)
Why do people find grieving such a difficult process?
TB: As humans we want those darn five stages. We want to have a process. ‘Tell me
what, when, and how to do it so it will all be over.’ Unfortunately, it doesn't work that
way. There is no blueprint and everyone’s grief process is individual and unique.
For example, someone might feel that 2015 was really horrible and that 2016 will be
better. But you’re the same person on that first day that you were the day before. It’s
similar when we go through a second or third anniversary of a loss, we feel like we are
getting further away from the person we lost. We tend to expect that as we continue
to grieve at some point its going to stop hurting and when it doesn’t we’re surprised.
Grief stays with us but it changes and evolves. We integrate the loss and make meaning
from it for our lives. One thing I know now is that the love lives on, we carry it forward,
throughout our lives. The person we loved continues to influence and inform our lives.