Vintage EST.1976
By Stephanie Gutierrez-Janssen
Forty has approached me and I must admit it scared me at first. The thought of being forty and now a mom, with an almost 2-year-old boy, was even more frightening. I never thought age would concern me, but I believe something triggers in women around this age. Suddenly I could feel the weight of my years when I looked at my physique or thought about the future I have with my son.
So why did I wait so long to become a mother? I was not ready. I was living abroad in Europe with my fiancé, now husband, and we were not sure if we would stay in Europe or the US. We were traveling and enjoying our time together. Having a child was a very significant decision that would transform our lives forever. My life experiences have contributed a lot to my parenting style and how I want to raise my son. I don’t know what style it is, but I do know that I felt lonely sometimes when surrounded by younger mothers. While women in their early to mid-30s were working on their second child, I’m worried about my retirement, if my son will be happy with an older mom, maintaining my health, and if I should have another baby at this age.
Isolation was just part of my awakening. I fully realized that I was getting older, not on my birthday, but when I went to the lingerie store to try on bras. The mirror I was using was horrible! There I stood. My face looked different and either my body had altered or I
just did not recognize myself. My skin looked paler, my face had some fine lines coming through and my stomach no longer looked toned. I cried on my way home. I just couldn’t believe that I was a forty-year-old woman! My husband was with me and was immediately concerned. He reassured me by telling me I look younger than my age and that I’m doing a wonderful job as a mom. This was pleasant to hear but the fact that I can now say, I AM FORTY, was unreal to me.
I don’t look my age but these little changes in my appearance make me cognizant that I am a different person now, inside and out. I’m a mom, a wife, an older daughter, and an older friend. I’m an older woman. Time has passed so quickly. When I look back I have no regrets, I have been lucky to have had such an amazing life. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, a beautiful son, and I have such great family and friends here in the US and abroad.
After some soul searching and talking with some older friends, forty isn’t so bad after all. Turning forty is an achievement. It shouldn’t be looked at as “this is it and it’s all downhill from here.” Forty is the beginning of another new adventure! The experience you have gained and knowledge you have when turning forty helps to see things in life in a new way. You will be more enduring and you will learn to enjoy life more than ever! Like they say, “40 is the new 20!”