Eclectic Shades Magazine July 2019 - Page 66

Why Reconciliation Is Important on Mother’s Day

by Saffron Trust

My mother, Dorothy Mae Ross, was laid to rest on April 4, 2017, so I now recognize Mother’s Day without her. Although I would rather be excluded, I have joined the elite group of those who share that same loss.

This can be a truly sad weekend for the woman without a mother, but it can also be difficult for those who have a broken or difficult relationship with theirs. Tears rolled down my face during my mother’s home-going because I understood the need for reconciliation more than ever before.

I can remember my days as a stubborn teen—there were moments I hated being her child. What I cannot remember is all of the early days of nurturing, right after birth, when I’m sure my mother fixated her eyes on me, kissed my cheeks, checked and changed countless diapers, and rocked me quietly to sleep.

Once we realize that we can never pick up that phone to say, “Hello. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!” or visit her with gifts or take her out for a lovely meal, the reality hits like a ton of bricks. The loss of our mother steals what should be an unbroken connection. Probably the most difficult thing to come to grips with is that we will not get the opportunity for any do-overs. There is no escaping the finality of death when she comes in to close the doors on all that has been or will ever be. She is swift and sharp, cutting away our physical existence and tearing away the fabric of familiar or just casual connections with those left to mourn and grieve.

Now, as a woman and mother myself, Mother’s Day has a way of making me want to choose pardon over punishment, with outspread arms of comfort. I want to put aside disagreements, divisions, and differences and experience the restorative power of reconciliation—even when it is inconvenient or so difficult that we think we cannot do it.

Once we realize that we can never pick up that phone to say, “Hello. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!” or visit her with gifts or take her out for a lovely meal, the reality hits like a ton of bricks.

I now know that I have no right to judge anyone for anything. As I’ve cycled through my life, I’ve gained understanding, and through humility, embraced opportunities to increase my faith. However, compared to my Heavenly Father’s infinite forgiveness, mercy, grace, and blessings, I was unwilling to give even a miniscule amount of forgiveness, protection, or peace of mind to a few people, my mother included.