Who is Jack Schitt
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt and find ourselves at a loss when someone says , ' You don ' t know Jack Schitt !'
Well , thanks to genealogy efforts , you can now respond in an intellectual way . Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt .
Awe Schitt was married to O . Schitt , the fertilizer magnate , and owner of Needeep N . Schitt , Inc . They had one son , Jack .
In turn , Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt . The deeply religious couple produced six children : Holie Schitt , Giva Schitt , FullaSchitt , Bull Schitt , and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt .
Against her parents ' objections , Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt , a high school dropout .
After being married 15 years , Jack and Noe Schitt divorced . Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock , and because her kids were living with them , she wanted to keep her previous name . She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock .
Meanwhile , Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt , and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt .
Two of the other six children , Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt , were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony .
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials . The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg , Byrd , and Horse .
Bull Schitt , the prodigal son , left home to tour the world . He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride , Pisa Schitt .
Now when someone says , ' You don ' t know Jack Schitt ,' you can correct them .
Sincerely , Crock O . Schitt
A Department of Water Resources representative Philemon stops at a Free State farm and talks with old farmer Koos . He tells Koos , " I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation ".
Koos says , " Okay , but don ' t go in that field over there ".
Philemon says , " Meneer , I have the full authority of the ANC Government with me . See this card ? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land . No questions asked or answered . Have I made myself clear ? Do you understand ?"
Koos nods politely and goes about his chores . Shortly , thereafter Koos hears loud screams and spies Philemon running for his life followed close behind by the farmer ' s bull , gaining with every step .
Philemon is t clearly
011 terrified 337 7943
, and is screaming for help , so the old farmer 249 Commissioner throws down his Street
tools , runs to the f 011 333 3559 fence and yells at the top of his lungs ..... Johannesburg 2001
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