Golf Poem
In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of
Hell. It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back
Tomorrow.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid
Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend. Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs
And losers of balls!
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me
Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Far. Another study found that golfers drink,
on Average, 22 gallons of alcohol a
year.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
A recent study found that the average
golfer Walks about 900 miles a year.
This means that, on average, golfers get
about 41 miles to the gallon!
Kind of makes you proud. Almost makes
you Feel like a hybrid. . ......