Drag Illustrated Issue 150, November 2019 | Page 46

D.I. COLUMNIST
On the Road
with Van Abernethy
I
’ve had a few scant moments
of esteem throughout my in-
volvement with drag racing,
but who would have ever guessed
the most satisfying honor of my ca-
reer would be the time in Nebraska
when I had some food items named
after me!
It all started when I rolled
through the gates of Kearney
Raceway Park in Kearney, Nebras-
ka. “Welcome to our little slice of
heaven!” exclaimed track official Joe
Roach as he came out to welcome
me to this well-kept quarter-miler
surrounded by cornfields in every
direction. I loved everything about
this track instantly, not the least of
which were the awesome racers and
staff.
When it came time to sample
their food offerings I stopped
by the concessions build-
ing, where I passed someone
walking out with a delicious-
looking hot dog. I approached
the counter and met Saman-
tha Zoucha, who operates
the concessions and gift shop
along with her husband, Josh,
and her mother, Nancy John-
son. “Howdy, ma’am, would you
happen to have some slaw to go
on those hot dogs?” I inquired.
Samantha stared blankly for a
couple seconds, her mind fran-
tically processing this strange
request. “Slaw...on hot dogs?!”
she replied with a puzzled tone.
I explained that it was a staple
delicacy where I come from.
Amazingly, Samantha didn’t
tell me that this was the most
despicable thing she’d ever
heard, which is exactly what
they told me at a track in
Oklahoma (which shall remain
nameless.) In fact, Samantha
quickly reached for a pen and
paper and said, “This is inter-
esting. Tell me the exact the in-
gredients for how this is done.”
I was actually shocked at
her open-mindedness, so I ex-
plained my trifecta for the per-
fect hot dog, which, of course, is
chili, slaw and mustard. “Some
people back home sprinkle
diced onions on top as a bonus,”
I explained. “You can add this
same line-up to a cheeseburger
and you’ll have your-
self a ‘Carolina Chili
Cheeseburger,’” I add-
ed. “Very interesting!”
Samantha replied,
as she quickly took
notes. “By the way,
I’m Van from North
Carolina, and it’s a
pleasure to meet you
fine folks,” I said.
Suddenly, a light
went off in Samatha’s brain. “That’s
what we’ll name it...the Van Dog and
Van Burger!” Samantha said excit-
edly. It was my turn to stare blankly
for a couple seconds. “You’re gonna
name food after me?!” I inquired
excitedly. Samantha assured me
that this was going
to happen, and even
took out her iPhone to
snap my picture so my
face could be posted
on the menu board
as the inspiration for
their new menu offer-
ing. I don’t think I’ve
ever been prouder of
anything in my entire
life! This even tops
that time in Michigan when I won
the fictitious “Best Appearing Jour-
nalist” award!
I told Samantha to please keep
in touch and let me know the reac-
tion of people as they sample this
curious new concessions item. A
few weeks later I received a text
from Sam, along with a picture of
the sign they created for the menu
board, showing an example of the
food, and of course, a photo of yours
truly. A few hours later I received a
follow-up text from Samantha. “We
just sold our first Van Dog and Van
Burger!” she said, and even included
a picture of the brave couple who or-
dered them. A little while later, the
play-by-play from Sam continued.
“They both gave me thumbs up!” she
excitedly reported.
Then, the communication went
silent. Hours went by and I hadn’t
heard from Sam. Suddenly, I was
pacing the floors, worried that no
one else was interested in sam-
pling the food that bears my
name. That’s when one final
late-night chime on my phone
pierced through the silence. It
was a text from Samantha. She
sent a picture of a huge, empty
tub that once contained slaw.
“We sold completely out!” she
wrote.
Folks, I don’t think Steve
Jobs could have been any
prouder while strutting
across the stage carrying the
world’s first iPhone, as I was
in knowing that a drag strip in
Nebraska sold out of hot dogs
with chili, slaw and mustard at
my urging!
A few weeks later I was in
Kansas at a NHRA Division 5
meet, when low and behold I
look up to see a familiar face
walking toward me. It was
none other than Joe Roach,
who was among the first to
greet me in Kearney. After ex-
changing pleasantries, I asked
Joe if he had tried a Van Dog
or Van Burger yet. “Sure have!”
he said. “Honestly, I didn’t re-
ally want to, but Samantha
said, ‘Seriously, you need to
try this!’” He did so, and was
pleasantly shocked. “We actu-
ally sold out the second week,
too!” he tells me.
Looking back, Joe wasn’t far
off in his description of Kear-
ney Raceway Park, and now
with a little scoop of slaw for
the burgers and dogs, heaven
just got a little sweeter.
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