D . I . COLUMNIST The Real Deal with Tommy D ' Aprile
David Rampy
96 NHRA National Event Wins … And Counting
Not long ago I was thinking about the tremendously wide variety of professions available in the world these days . We have admirable pursuits made by doctors , lawyers , principals , teachers , company executives , pro athletes , auto techs , hairdressers , chefs , servers and so many more the list could be practically endless . But one “ profession ” I considered has become exceedingly popular . It ’ s one you may not have thought much about before but seems very common in today ’ s society . Of course the profession I speak of is that of the professional victim .
Ah yes , some of you know this profession so very well . It may sound strange , but some people find it very comfortable to play the victim . They grow used to feeling sorry for themselves and throw pity parties on a regular basis , even inviting others to join in by saying seemingly innocuous things like , “ Oh , you poor thing ,” or “ Yes , you have it so rough .”
But professional victims use hate , lies and complaints to focus attention on themselves . They tend to blame everyone and everything else for all their perceived woes . They also believe they have every right to wallow in self pity and publicly share their misery . A quick glance over most people ’ s Facebook feeds will confirm the presence of several professional victims at work .
They believe the worst , degrade the quality of life , spin tales of sadness , act defensively , constantly put themselves down , and absolutely refuse to analyze situations with an eye toward improvement . They often exhibit passive-aggressive tendencies , saying things like “ Fine ,” or “ Whatever ,” when those sentiments are the farthest thing from their minds . In truth , they usually set themselves up for failure through acting self absorbed , living in the past and focusing only on their problems .
And these are just a few of the many destructive “ qualities ” of this defeating profession . The problem is that most professional victims get so wrapped up in all this negativity that they feel like they could never quit .
Well , I have some great news ! Not only can you quit this profession , you can be free of it altogether . Playing the victim is a learned behavior ; it does not have to stay with you . It can be overcome . Who was it that told you that you ’ re not , you can ’ t , you won ’ t , you will never be ? The truth is that you are more than able , you can , you are , you will !
I ’ m reminded of a lady I work with who some years back was diagnosed with breast cancer . Her attitude remained so upbeat and positive throughout all of her treatments that she served as a blessing to many others going through the same sickness . She missed very few days of work and maintained nothing but a positive outlook . And I am so very happy to report she is cancer free today . She didn ’ t know what the outcome would be at the time , but one thing for sure was she never played the victim . She chose to live victorious minded — and still does to this day .
The truth is that being a professional victim is a very unattractive role to accept . It ’ s so much better for you to make choices that will most benefit you and your family . You can unlearn this behavior and turn the corner to a healthier lifestyle . Although we all inevitably go through some tough things in life , it ’ s our job not to let those things define us . We can overcome and not play the victim , choose to love instead of hate , and choose to look forward , no matter what our past may have held .
The common word here is “ choose .” So my advice is to stop playing the victim and give up the profession because there is no good future available there . Instead , choose victory in all areas of your life , even if you can ’ t yet see the cloud ’ s silver lining . Just remember that what you focus on is what you will become . So start today focusing on what is right , true , lovely , admirable , and praiseworthy . Start focusing on where you ’ re going and not so much on where you ’ ve been , because the choice you make today truly can change your destiny . As always , though , that choice is yours and yours alone to make .
Email Tommy at tommyd @ dragillustrated . com
August 2017
Dan Fletcher
101 NHRA National Event Wins … And Counting
Reliability Wins Races
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