D.I. COLUMNIST
The Real Deal
with Tommy D'Aprile
T
he other day I was at the park
and noticed a family having some
pictures taken by a professional photographer. There were special backgrounds
and all types of photo equipment in use and
the family had so many different posses and
different clothes to change into between
shots as well. While I was taking this all in I
couldn’t help but overhear the mom tell the
photographer to keep shooting until they
were—as she put it—“Picture Perfect.”
Meanwhile, however, the couple’s small
children were starting to squirm and not
cooperate, crying and being difficult. I can’t
say I blame them either. I would cry too if I had to sit through a photo
session that took so much time. Anyway, after all was said and done the
family left the park, visibly upset with the parents yelling at each other.
All that drama and all that money spent for “perfect” pictures made me
think about what was really going on there.
How many of us want a picture perfect life? I mean it’s the American
dream to have everything, right? The more the better! Present the perfect image! Well, that might be what some think but I’m going to save
you some time and frustration and let you know you can live the dream
without being perfect and without having to have it all. Unfortunately
for many, the idea of success in today’s society has more to do with image
than character. We want to look the part, yet seldom focus on how we
look on the inside. Too many people spend their lives wishing they were
like someone else or had what someone else has, only to forget along the
way how very fortunate and lucky they already are.
I once knew a man who worked his entire life trying to live the American dream. On the outside this guy had everything: big houses, fast
cars, boats, ATVs, race cars, big trucks and trailers, big bank accounts,
a beautiful family—in other words, just about everything you can imagine. I asked him once when he thought he would have it made and he
answered: “When I make more money and have everything I’ve always
wanted.” I immediately thought his response sounded like that of someone comparing himself to others who perhaps had more than he did.
Seriously, from the outside it appeared this man had it all, but what
people didn’t see was on the inside he was miserable. He was never home
to enjoy his family, which in turn put a strain on his relationships. Although he had amazing family photos, he enjoyed no real connections
with his wife and kids. He also was always worrying that he would not
have enough money to support his lavish lifestyle. Weekly therapy sessions also were a must, just to cope with “friends” who liked him only for
his net worth. It’s not hard to see how setting the wrong goals in life may
sometimes look good on the outside, but appearances can be deceiving.
Our society will always tell you that you need more, but I’m telling you
to be grateful for what you have right now. But I’m not saying working
hard to build a business, make some money and enjoy the fruits of your
labor is bad. Certainly you should strive to do and be the best you can,
but also make time for what’s truly important in life. It’s the little things
like date nights with your wife or special times with your kids that can’t
be bought. Focus on your relationships and not only the bottom line o f
your finances. Focus on being appreciative and choose to happy where
you are. Set goals, but along the way keep your priorities straight. I’ve
never met someone who later in life wished they had more money, but
I have met countless people who wished they had made more time for
family. It’s a choice to be made.
Getting back to the picture perfect family; after seeing them I made
a point to take some family photos with my own kids. Our hair was
messy, we had ice cream cones in hand and chocolate mustaches, our
clothes weren’t perfectly matched and no one was told how to pose. But
you know what? That was picture perfect to me. It took us a whole 10
minutes to take the pictures and they hang proudly on my wall at home.
So what am I saying? If a picture looks “perfect” it probably isn’t. Don’t
fake it, but make it real and enjoy every moment. As always, the choice
is yours to make.
Tommy D’Aprile
[email protected]
July 2016
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