That’s my cue.
I face him unflinching as if
clinging to scraps of dignity.
“I know it’s over. I’m just asking
you to keep me on until I can
find another position.”
Sounds like a conversation I had
with my last theatrical agent.
Marlow’s contrived laughter
echoes in the sound booth.
“Position? Position? The only
position anyone would offer you
is a cleaning lady!”
That’s my final cue.
“I gave you the best years of my
life!” I take a quick breath.
“Cut! That’s a wrap!”
Stage managers shut down
spotlights, prop men gather tools
of their trade, cast members
begin to filter out, and I feel a
tap on my shoulder. Turning,
I see a warm smile on the
face of Savannah, the aspiring
assistant director. She reaches
for my clammy hand; hurriedly,
I first rub it briskly across my
velvet costume. Chattering, she
introduces herself and then
encourages me to join her for a
cup of coffee. I need something
to steady my nerves and gladly
accept her offer.
Dreamy eyed, she shares her
story of attending a state college
and majoring in drama. Taking
a gamble, she moved from Iowa
to Hollywood. In the midst
of a sentence, she falls silent,
looks me in the eye and says,
“Ms. Hayes; I’ve seen every
movie you starred in, several
more than once. I saw you on
Broadway too, in “Lilacs for
Linda.”
My memories of that leading
role and the evening’s earlier
stench of lilac toilet water are
ironic.
She continues with admiration
and tact. “I’ve wondered why I
haven’t seen you in any starring
roles lately. I’m sure, for a lady
of your rare talent, quality
scripts are hard to find these
days.” I smile with a facade
as easy to detect as those of
any building used for studio
street scenes. What’s the use of
pretending? There are still a few
rags-to-riches stories in tinsel
town; yet, producers fill file-
thirteen with crumpled phone
messages from riches-to-rags
castaways.
I remove the mask of hypocrisy
and self-deception. “You read
the tabloids; I’m washed-up,
finished! If I hadn’t received this
bit part, I’d be kicked out of my
dingy apartment!” I play with
my linen napkin on the table,
folding and unfolding it as I try
to avoid eye contact. The break
in our conversation is deafening,
and I begin to formulate an
excuse to leave.
“Ms. Hayes, if there is any way I
7
can be of help”
I interrupted. “Savannah, you’re
heaven sent. I had dreams too.
All I cared about was Hollywood,
a talent-agent discovering
me, transforming me into a
movie star, making me rich and
famous! Me, me, me! I’m only
an aging woman playing a part.
I’ve had my name up in lights
and cruised Hollywood and Vine
in chauffeur-driven limousines.
Tomorrow, I’ll pawn my jewelry
and buy a bus ticket back to
Ithaca.”
Devotionals are her first love
in writing. Published articles
in Mature Living Magazine,
Devotions for the Deaf, The
Secret Place, Light from the
Word, Coosa Journal, With God
Daily, Mary Hollingsworth’s
The One Year Devotional of Joy
and Laughter. http://www.
pamforddavis.com
DOZ Magazine | January 2020