all those years of abuse made
me despise myself so much. And
my husband is well-grounded
in the word of God, he’s a man
whose faith is solid and he’s
always very cheerful. He’s also a
very disciplined and organised
person, while I am the opposite
of all of that. But you see, God
helped him to provide for me
the stability I needed during
all our years of waiting. He was
actually my encourager. I never
saw him once sad, or worried,
or anxious about our childless
state then. And that made it less
frustrating for me. But you know
that it can be really trying when
you’re preaching the word that’s
producing miracles in people’s
lives and the word doesn’t seem
to work for you. You know, it
was disconcerting, sometimes
I felt very uncomfortable, but
God’s grace saw us through it
all.
During your waiting season,
what was frightening about the
entire experience, and what
was empowering about it?
W
ell, there were times when
I thought, I really believed
at that time, that I might not bear
a child till I die, especially when
I crossed 45 and started spotting
grey hairs. The devil whispered
so many lies to me, actually, but
I thank God for the power in the
word of God. I thank God that I
belong to a strong, Bible-believing
faith-based ministry, and every
time in God’s presence injected
me with fresh fire and faith.
That’s one of the reasons, you
know, the Bible says we should
not forsake meeting together as
believers because that’s where
we get our strength from. And
that was actually the case with
me, every time I went to church
and heard the word of God, I got
encouraged all over again. And of
13
course, I received strength from
God’s word, so it wasn’t totally
frightening. But I just want to
say that every waiting is for a
purpose. Sometimes when you’re
going through things like this,
you need people to talk to you.
You even need people to remind
you of what you know because
there’ll be times when you just
forget everything you know. When
the devil starts saying all kinds of
things, you completely forget even
everything you’ve preached. You
need someone to remind you out
of the word of God and to assure
you that God is still faithful. So,
there were times like that; there
were frightening times like that.
And all in all, God perfects us
with challenges, that’s how He
perfects His people. Because if
we are comfortable, if we have
everything we need, we will not
seek God. He created us such that
there will always be a need for
Him in our lives. And there are
DOZ Magazine | January 2020