DOZ Issue 43 May 2019 - Page 27

that when women object with that, it’s because they have not been able to get over the obstacle of that guilt. It’s a hard thing, it’s not easy, and women need help. We need help to give ourselves permission to release the guilt. So, when I say I put myself first, it’s because I know that the version of myself that my family gets from me, knowing who I am, me loving myself, is an amazing thing, they reap all of the benefits of all of my self-care. And so, I do not put my health on the back burner, but I also have a group of friends that help me to be accountable. I have a life-coach that helps me to keep my balance. I don’t do it alone. It’s too hard to do it alone, so I have help. I have accountability partners; I have friends that check in, I have friends that when they see me speaking at back-to-back speaking engagements or they see me doing this and doing that because I love it, I love it. I love helping women, but I always have to remember that before I’m Dr. Marsie Ross, the self-care crusader, I’m Marise, and that’s who I have to honour, right? I have to spend time with God; I have to be still. If I am just running around and I’m not grounded, then what am I going to be able to give my clients? I will be no good. And so, it’s because of my love for what I do for women, that I have to pour into myself. And like I said, I don’t do it alone, I have people that help me. So, it’s important that a woman has a support group or some kind of mentorship? Absolutely. You can’t do it alone. Number one, because it’s too hard; because the world is waiting to snatch up that time that you have set aside for self-care, but also, there’s a process for self-care. You don’t just say; oh, I’m going to have self-care because there’s a process to getting there. And so, what I do is that I walk women through that process. What I love is like sustainable self-care because it’s not like a quick fix and so it is a mindset shift, it’s a lifestyle shift, in order for you to truly see the benefits of it. When I say benefits, I mean, not just with you, you get to see what self-care can do, for your family, for your career, it’s just an amazing, most beautiful, beautiful thing that so many of us are caught in the rat race that we can’t see. We can’t get off the hamster wheel long enough to see that we’re spinning out of control. The next thing I want to know is this; in your opinion, is the idea of a work-life balance a possibility? So, can a woman achieve the right balance with all of the responsibilities in her life without caving in and dropping one of the balls? Can she juggle all of them, successfully? Work-life balance is tough, right? I think it’s more about prioritising. You get balance when you prioritise; when you don’t try to do it all by yourself. Balance comes with letting go of control. Sometimes, you need to drop some of those balls. You have too. I love the book, that Tiffany Dufu wrote, Drop the Ball. It’s beautiful. You have to drop some of those balls. You have to realise that, guess what? I can travel and clean the house and do the laundry, but I need help. It’s getting the support you need to live the life you want. It’s letting go of the I. Superwoman is a 27 DOZ Magazine | May 2019