DOZ Issue 43 May 2019 - Page 25

When did you have a check-up, a well check-up, not that I’m sick, I’m not feeling well, your well-woman visit? We should all go to our doctor once a year for a well woman visit. When I ask them about that, that is not on their schedule the way that their hair and nails is on their schedule. When was your last dental check-up? When was your last eye exam? When did you have your mammogram? And guess what, Gabriella? This is not even self-care. This is self- preservation. We haven’t even got to self-care yet. But, it’s just a reminder for us that we are truly neglecting ourselves. Truly. Truly neglecting ourselves. And so, when you ask me about self- care, it’s an awareness of it, it’s an awareness of the neglect. It’s where it first starts. A mindset shift, and then you start to think about self-care, it’s all about you. So how uncomfortable does that make most women? Very uncomfortable. To be able to think about ourselves, it makes us feel selfish, unfocused, uncommitted to work, we feel like we’re not part of this women’s movement, that we should be doing more, demanding more pay, we should be somehow part of this movement, if we are thinking about ourselves, we are taking our eyes off the price. So, self- care, when you ask, what is self-care? Self-care is about you, self-care is about self-discovery, self-care is about nurturing your interest and finding time to hear your own thoughts and to pour into you. Why do self-care, and what are the benefits of self-care you ask? It’s about nurturing yourself. When you give yourself the grace to nurture yourself, you give yourself the opportunity to continue to evolve as a person. You don’t disappear just because MY FAMILY, THEY DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY CUP AND MY OVERFLOW. THE LOVE FOR THEM IS THE SAME. IF I POUR ENOUGH LOVE IN, WHAT I’M GIVING THEM IS LOVE you become a mum or a wife or an executive. You cannot hide behind those titles. You still have to evolve. What are your interests? What do you like to do? Who are you? And when you have self-care, you don’t lose yourself in all of the things that you have to do. You don’t fill yourself with resentment. Because if you’re not pouring into you, if you have poured yourself out until your cup is empty, then what are you pouring on your family? What are you pouring on your friends? What are you pouring on your career? Oftentimes for women, that answer is resentment, is burnout, is anger, is impatience, intolerance, right? But when you pour into yourself, when you have self-care, you pour love in, patience in, grace in, peace in, you are able to then fill your self-care cup up until it overflows, and then you feed your life from the overflow. You fill your self-care cup up until it overflows. Love on yourself so much that you’re overflowing with love and patience and mindfulness; mindful eating, mindful health so that it overflows and then you feed 25 your life from the overflow. I never, or I say, I fight hard to not get into my self-care cup. My obligation to my family, my friends, and my career is to fill my self-care cup until it overflows. My family, they don’t know the difference between my cup and my overflow. The love for them is the same. If I pour enough love in, what I’m giving them is love. And they love that love. But my overflow? Yes, that’s magnificent. But the only people that suffer when we don’t fill our cup up is us. Most of the time, our family, we think that they’re not suffering, but in the end, they do suffer, they do feel it. They do feel our impatience, they feel our frustration even no matter we try to hide it, but people see that we’re not fully present in some of the things that we’re doing. And so, I tell people, fill your self-care cup up until it overflows and then feed your family and your life from the overflow. That’s wonderful. Now, still, on self-care how did our mothers and grandmothers survive without self-care? So, one of the things you need to think about too, our mothers DOZ Magazine | May 2019