DOZ Issue 40 February 2019 - Page 22

You’re a woman who’s accomplished some really great things, but you’ve also had your struggles like the everyday woman out there. So please share with us your journey of going from being in an abusive relationship to losing your job and your home and going to live in a shelter for battered women. W ell, first of all again thank you for having me and allowing me to tell my story. Just really quickly, I was in an abusive relationship with one of my children’s father. I only have two children. I want to say this; when I first met him, it was beautiful. We did a lot of things together, we both liked to go dancing, hang out with each other and just have fun. People loved coming to our home. But he became possessive over me; he literally counted my footsteps. When we were together I was a young girl, I was in my early twenties, and he let me keep all of my money. At the time I was making close to $70,000, and I mean that’s a lot of money for a young girl who doesn’t have any bills. And the next thing you know it just went from crazy in love, to possessive love, and we all know that that’s not love, it’s possessiveness. Anyway, when I made up my mind to leave him, I already had a child from when I was a senior in high school, so my son was seven years old, and I was seven months pregnant with my daughter. So, the thing that was so crazy was I didn’t think I could leave him. I did not think I could leave. So, I always think about women even today that don’t think that they can get up and leave. And when I left, I just got up and left. I just left. I left everything. When I came to Indianapolis, I came with the clothes on my back with my seven- year-old son, and I was seven months pregnant. And I had to live in a battered women’s shelter, but I will tell you this, that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me — living in a battered women’s shelter. I ended up getting accepted into their transitional housing programme, and that was a two-year programme. In that programme, I ended up becoming an insurance agent, and I went on and moved up to become an investment banker, from an investment banker to an officer of the bank, from officer of the bank to a regional in the bank and from there a VP of the bank. So, I was making more money. That didn’t happen in two years, but I am saying that it all started there, okay? And I just thank God for my journey. People would always volunteer there, they would always give away programmes and so one lady she literally gave away a $5,000 coaching programme, and they picked me to receive it. They said they saw something in me and that was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. So, I mean, everything happens for a reason because if that had never happened to me, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today. So, for the woman you have become you are grateful even for the not-so-good parts of the process that you went through? A bsolutely! Absolutely! Because I had to unbecome to become, you know what I’m saying? So, absolutely! I won’t change nothing in this journey. Nothing. That’s awesome. Now, I want to know, you had just come out of an abusive relationship, you had lost virtually everything that you owned, and you were having to start all over again, and here you were in the shelter for battered women, no doubt you would have been depressed, no doubt what had happened to you would have affected your self-esteem and DOZ Magazine | February 2019 22