As I sat there, fear tried to overwhelm me.
I felt like I would have a complete mental
breakdown at times. In my spirit I knew
I had to stay focused, and that I couldn’t
afford to give way to hysterics. I made
myself continue in prayer, pleading with
the Lord for my son not to die. For nearly
three hours, I battled to not give in to this
fear and its panic. I found encouragement
in the Word during those predawn hours.
Two verses that helped me a lot were
“Be not afraid of sudden fear for the Lord
shall be thy confidence” (Proverbs 3:25-
26 KJV). There were other verses that
night, and I thanked the Lord for each and
every one as they encouraged my heart to
have faith.
It had been close to four hours since my
husband and son had left for the hospital.
I had been quiet before the Lord for a
long while when He spoke softly to my
heart. He let me know He wouldn’t have
woke me up just so I could watch my
son die. That is when I knew he would
survive. It is also when I felt the peace
of the Lord wrap around my soul like a
physical embrace. Fear had been defeated
and had to flee.
A short time later my husband called to
let me know that our son was going to
be okay. The battle wasn’t over though.
We still had several months of struggling
to cope in the aftermath of his suicide
attempt. I have written down some key
questions the Lord answered for us.
My prayer is that you, the reader, will
find encouragement as I share how we
obtained the victory and overcame this
trial.
1. How does a parent cope a
child’s suicide attempt?
- At first, our minds were so
overwhelmed we couldn’t even think
straight. All we could do was cry out
to Jesus for help. We were tormented
by scenarios of “what if,” along with
an intense condemnation that we had
failed as parents.
- Once the initial shock passed, we began
to search the Bible for guidance. Reading
the scriptures helped us to start coping.
There were many verses that the Lord
9
used to help us during this process. Many
times, it was the power of His Word that
gave us faith to press on each day.
- In time, the Lord was able to open our
eyes to an important fact. We’d done the
best we could when rearing our children.
Now, we needed to accept that our son
had made his own choices that night.
After all, he was 23 years old at the time.
2. How do you deal with the
fear?
- After the suicide attempt, fear
constantly tried to destroy our faith.
As before, we clung to the Lord and the
scriptures that brought us such comfort.
One of the most helpful verses was “I
had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the LORD in the land
of the living” (Psalm 27:13KJV). It was
only through Him that we were able to
overcome this fear. He blessed us with
a peace we couldn’t understand. We
couldn’t explain it; we just knew we had
it.
3. Why do these things
happen?
“Blessed be God, even the Father of
mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our
tribulation, that we may be able to
comfort them which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves
are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians
1:3-4KJV). Why did it happen? We
believe it is so we can reach out to
others, and tell them what the Lord did
for us. In turn, we can now help others
with the same help we received.
Today our son is doing great. He’s turned
his life around and gives all the credit to
the Lord. We admit that there were times
we felt as though this trial would kill us.
The Lord is faithful though. He had a plan
for us, and He has a plan for your life too.
From the beginning the Lord let me know
I was to share whatever He inspired me
to write. Now, over a decade later, I’m still
sharing what He’s given.
-LaNaye Perkins
DOZ Magazine | December 2018