DOZ Issue 37 November 2018 - Page 34

Lisa Finds Love Again By Lucy Brown W hen Lisa Smithson was a teenager, she made a mistake that her family and society never forgave her for nor forgot. She got pregnant out of wedlock, and if not for the intervention of her grandmother, her father would have thrown her out of the house. Growing up in a Christian home, Lisa knew she had sinned, but she thought that she was in love and that the boy would marry her. She had asked God for forgiveness and did all she could to give her and her son a good life. She worked as a waitress during the day and attended classes at night. Her mother had advised her to let her older sister, who was married at the time, raise the child as her own, but Lisa refused, and this caused a rift in her relationship with her mother and sister. She went hungry so her child could eat; she went without fineries so her baby could have clothes and a warm bed to sleep in at night. Lisa had worked so hard to get everything that she felt whatever she acquired with ease wouldn’t last. She had had her own back for too long that she couldn’t trust or depend on anyone. She was also finding it hard to believe in God because she felt that she had let him down too. Now at the age of thirty-two, she was a patent lawyer, and she had a house of her own. Her son, Jesse, was in one of the best schools in the city, and she could afford the life she wanted, but there was a void in her life, Lisa didn’t know what that was, but she couldn’t be happy no matter how hard she tried. She was also in a relationship with a sweet, caring man but she couldn’t bring herself to trust him. DOZ Magazine | November 2018 On Valentine’s day, he sent her a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates, but she didn’t call to thank him because she didn’t want him to know how deeply touched she had been. Her relationship was on the brink of a breakup because of her inability to trust and love with the whole of her heart. She still believed that when people looked at her, they were judging her in their hearts. She felt that when she walked by with her son, people whispered behind her back and mocked her. She cried herself to sleep several nights, worrying if society would ever forgive her and if she would ever overcome the shame. During the summer, Lisa’s fiancé, Lisa knew she had sinned, but she thought that she was in love and that the boy would marry her Charles took her and her son to his family’s cabin. In the mornings, they prayed together, took long walks and ate together as a family. Charles doted on Lisa and her son, and he loved her dearly, but he could see how much she was struggling with her faith. They had never talked about Lisa’s past or the way she reacted whenever Charles mentioned God’s kindness towards His children. “Lisa, please take a walk with me,” Charles said to her. They had just finished lunch and Jesse was watching TV in the living room. 34 “Sure, I would love that,” Lisa said. They went out of the cabin and walked in silence for some minutes before Charles decided to break the silence. “Lisa, I love you,” he began, “You know I do, but I can’t marry a woman who doesn’t believe in God and who does not love herself.” “What do you mean?” Lisa cried, “Of course I love God! And I love myself!” “When was the last time you talked to Him?” Charles asked, softly, “When was the last time you said some kind words to yourself and appreciated God for how far He has brought you?” “You have no idea what I have done!” She burst into tears, “You don’t know how long I have hoped that God will forgive me so I can move on with my life!” “You haven’t moved on because you don’t know that God has already forgiven you.” Charles said, “John 3 vs. 16; says, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have eternal life. He gave his only son, so that everyone, including robbers, prostitutes, fornicators and every sinner out there who believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.” “Are you trying to break up with me?” Lisa asked. “I’m not breaking up with you, Lisa,” Charles said, “I want you to make peace with your past first and to forgive yourself.” “Everyone has nailed me to the cross countless times!” Lisa cried, “My parents, the church, the society and now you too?” “No one is crucifying you, Lisa,”