Devotion Magazine | A Devotional Christian Magazine for Females SPRING/SUMMER 2014 - Page 58

Credit: Travel Girl-76473592, GoodBad-126668663—Shutterstock much water before arriving at the store, requiring a visit to the ladies’ room first instead of last, a visit to the ladies’ room first instead of last, thus, making my whole trip one big backtrack. I thus, making my whole trip one big backtrack. I just don’t like backtracking! I saw myself as ‘good’ when compared to others. I didn’t steal like ‘her.’ I didn’t curse like ‘him.’ I I didn’t steal like ‘her.’ I didn’t curse like ‘him.’ I thought, “I’m alright with God,” until He showed me things about myself that I did not see nor me things about myself that I did not see nor would I listen to anyone tell me. The reality that would I listen to anyone tell me. The reality that no one can earn God’s love was hard to accept, at first. When it had to do with my life, at first. When it had to do with my life, backtracking was the furthest from my mind. Then God told me it was time. Then God told me it was time. At the grocery store I would constantly avoid IT. At the grocery store I would constantly avoid IT. When my daughters were with me I could send When my daughters were with me I could send one of them back for a missed item. With an encouraging shove, I would point and say, “Go! encouraging shove, I would point and say, “Go! You’ll find it. If you can’t reach it, just ask for help.” That was when they were only 3 or 4 years help.” That was when they were only 3 or 4 years old! I will skip a product if it’s not needed for dinner that night. If something absolutely can’t dinner that night. If something absolutely can’t wait, I weave back through an aisle that I don’t wait, I weave back through an aisle that I don’t usually shop, such as the cosmetic aisle (another story), grab the item and quickly weave back story), grab the item and quickly weave back through the cosmetic aisle so it won’t seem so much like a backtrack. My favorite way to dodge much like a backtrack. My favorite way to dodge the dreaded backtrack is to substitute an item for the one missed; such as vanilla ice cream for potatoes. That works for me! The most brutal potatoes. That works for me! The most brutal torture that I inflict on myself just to avoid backtracking is, drinking too much water backtracking is, drinking too much water beforehand then forcing myself to ‘hold it.’ This strategy is very distracting and ultimately makes me forget many things. If, in desperate need, I me forget many things. If, in desperate need, I succumb to the urge and visit the ladies’ room at the far left of the store first, I sneak through at the far left of the store first, I sneak through the checkouts to get to the right side and only then do I begin shopping. It’s a lot of time and then do I begin shopping. It’s a lot of time and effort but, oh the satisfaction of not backtracking! In my life, anger poured out of my heart leaving paths of hurt people and burnt relationships. My paths of hurt people and burnt relationships. My outbursts included: slamming things around the house when my husband did not help with house when my husband did not help with housework, yelling at my girls for spilt milk and disciplining employees at work before listening to their side of an incident. When God opened to their side of an incident. When God opened my eyes, I was shocked and saddened. I was NOT the good girl that I saw in the mirror. NOT the good girl that I saw in the mirror. Without God’s Holy Spirit, I was blind to this anger. But the good news is that as a sinner anger. But the good news is that as a sinner saved by Christ’s grace, God has shown me the saved by Christ’s grace, God has shown me the error of my ways and He gives me the ability to choose to do what’s right in His eyes. He offers choose to do what’s right in His eyes. He offers me the ability to backtrack. One of the first times that God showed me the need to backtrack was a simple trip to the drug need to backtrack was a simple trip to the drug store for cold medicine. I didn’t feel like going in, so I sent my 12 year-old daughter and waited in the car with my 8 year-old. I had forgotten about the car with my 8 year-old. I had forgotten about the recently passed law that prohibited anyone under-age from purchasing cold medicine. She under-age from purchasing cold medicine. She IN TRANSITION | Page 58 | DEVOTIONMAGAZINE.COM IN TRANSITION | Page 58 | DEVOTIONMAGAZINE.COM