Devotion Magazine | A Devotional Christian Magazine for Females SPRING/SUMMER 2014 - Page 12

Will you be content with me alone as your reward? As sobs shake my shoulders, the forceful, escalating voice peaks and pounds the question: I cry out "Oh God, I choose to believe that you alone satisfy. I acknowledge this lie of worldly fulfillment and trust that your plan and purpose for me are greater than any gloriousness I could conjure up on my own. Lord, I cling to you." Even as I say this, more truth comes to mind. Am I enough for you? The question is like a rock thrown into the pool of my mind and has a catastrophic moment followed by ripples and a calm. My sobs turn into deep breaths. My mind begins to refocus on truth. I cannot stay desperately clinging to this longing for worldly fulfillment but must give in to one of two warring desires; Jesus or I must remain on my heart’s throne. I cannot give half my heart to the world and half to God because that means I’m living with a divided heart. I cannot be full if I’m never fully committed to anything, and I’m capable of being more than torn and wishy-washy; I am capable of being fully alive. Consumed. Passionate. Joyful. I know what I must do. "do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10b). "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the F F