DefyThis! Magazine: Issue I Issue I | Page 3

Fetishes, Fantasies, Kinks, Oh My! You’re sitting at home one lazy evening, nothing to do, nowhere to go. Your mind wanders to a simpler time, when all you had to worry about was watching your favorite cartoon show. In fact, you wouldn’t mind seeing your favorite characters again, you think to yourself. Off to Google! There before you are countless images from your youth. Memories come flooding back. There’s the episode where everybody went to an alternate universe! There’s the episode when Driven by that curiosity, you turn SafeSearch off. And just like that, all those nice memories of beloved childhood shows are suddenly twisted into something frightening. The hero is spanking the villain’s bare, red ass with a flogger. The Warrior-Princess has the scrawny, annoying sidekick tied up naked with a ball gag in his mouth. And I dare not say what she’s using her magic wand for. It ain’t magic. In this moment of horror, you have discovered kicked in the nuts, for sniffing used panties, and for being felt up by tentacles. And that’s just the stuff that’s big in Japan, which is known for exporting technological advancement and really weird porn. And probably really weird porn about technological advancement. I know what you’re thinking: How could anyone possibly be turned on by this stuff?! Don’t ask me. Human sexuality is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, really tightly wrapped, “The hero is spanking the villain’s bare, red ass with a flogger.” the scrawny, annoying sidekick saved the day! There’s the one where the lone-wolf hero finally shares a tender kiss with the Warrior-Princess of the neighboring realm! And as you browse through this gallery of nostalgic bliss, you notice something else. A little button near the top right says: “SafeSearch.” Ah yes, the old “adult content” filter, to make sure no little kids or old people get their minds warped. As you read it, you feel a dangerous curiosity. You wonder: what could possibly be filtered out if I’m searching for something as innocent as my old favorite cartoon shows? one of the fabled “Rules of the Internet.” And it just so happens that you’ve discovered the most notorious of all: Rule 34. What is Rule 34? It states: “If it exists, there’s porn of it.” Of course, Rule 34 includes more than just cartoon porn. Rule 34 includes a lot of very specific fantasies, too. There are just about as many sexual fetishes out there as there are people. Like what, you ask? There’s a fetish for eating food off of a woman’s naked body, for being DEFYTHIS! MAGAZINE • ISSUE I • PAGE 3