Think of it THIS way in math terms …. if you change just one variable , the ENTIRE equation changes .
Make sense ?
THAT is how it works . That is how ONE person can change and strengthen their relationship , even if their partner is not on board !
You Can Have Everything You Want
You ’ re Creating the Outcome
Raise your hand if you love being told what to do ... Nobody ? When you demand change , you ’ re pretty much ensuring that you ’ re going to get something you don ’ t want . You ’ re creating the negative outcome .
The problem is not your partner . It ’ s that you don ’ t understand them . When you don ’ t understand them , you end up triggering negative responses — those things your partner does that you absolutely hate !
RELATIONSHIPS
I ’ m going to let you in on a little secret . You can have everything you want in your relationship . You just can ’ t DEMAND it .
Demand Relationship tells us that there ’ s “ my way ” and “ their way .” When you ’ re deeply rooted in that , you start to think that if you change , you just have to put up with your partner ’ s behavior , let it go , or just not respond .
That ’ s NOT how Relationship Development ® works !
When you use the Relationship Development ® tools and strategies , you ELEVATE your relationship . You build rapport , repair trust , and bring unconditional love for your partner . In turn , your PARTNER changes .
They don ’ t change because you demanded it . They change in response to you ! Just like that math equation I mentioned earlier . You showed up as a new , elevated , Relationship Development Variable !!!
Now don ’ t get me wrong , I ’ m not blaming you . I ’ m not saying you ’ re a bad partner . This is a skillset that we were never taught !
But if you can change the way you trigger your partner , then your partner will change — not because you DEMANDED it , but because you aren ’ t creating that trigger anymore .
Nurturing Your Relationship
Think of your relationship like a plant . If the plant is dead , no matter how creatively you try to get it to give you fruit , it will not give you fruit . If you want fruit from the plant , you need to care for it , revive it , feed it , water it , give it sunlight , and grow it .
When it starts to give you fruit , do you just go and pluck the fruit right away ? No . You keep nurturing it . You keep caring for it .
When the plant is strong , growing , and abundant , then it grows plenty of fruit . Then , two things will happen . The first is that you can go ask for fruit and it will happily provide it for you . The second is that it will actually start dropping fruit on you , even when you
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