Daughters of Promise November/December 2014 | Page 26

Keeping
Relationships

by Tina Newson

CS Lewis said, “Friendship is unnecessary,

like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value;
rather it is one of those things that give value to
survival.” In other words, life without friendship is
reduced to mere survival. We can function, we
can make do, we can go through the motions yet
we are alone without friends. This is simply not part
of the design for mankind.
Over and over in scripture we see examples of how
we are created for relationship. Our triune God
represents a perfect blend of relationship in The
Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. In Genesis we
see clearly that man was not meant to live alone
so a help mate was created for him. However we
were created for more then a life partner in the
form of a spouse. We need others. Jesus himself
walked closely with a group of men he called
friends. Clearly we are created to relate closely
to others. If this is indeed the case then why do so
many endure loneliness and isolation?
Friendship takes time and energy, two commodities
that many of us find ourselves running short on. We
live in a society that rewards tangible productivity.
We often find ourselves pulled in too many
different directions at once. We work hard, play
hard and we are tired. For friendships to flourish
priorities have to be shifted and time carved out
to develop relationships. However there are other
barriers that block connection with others.

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There is also the question of, “is it worth it?”
Imperfect people love imperfectly. Song writer
Bob Marley puts it this way, “The truth is, everyone
is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones
worth suffering for.” All of us have been hurt at
one time or another by someone we considered
our friend; sometime those wounds go very deep
and keep us guarded. If we have been wounded
by relationship then it is possible to find healing
through relationship (a more in depth look at this
concept will be explored in future issues of DOP).
It is clear that relating closely to others is part of
God’s plan for our lives. Relationships can be be
challenging but there are steps we can take to
help keep friendships SIMPLE:

S-

SPEAK honestly. The depth of a relationship
can be measured by the level of truth spoken. Be
aware of how many times you lie in the name of
not wanting to hurt feelings or cause conflict. When
called upon for favors are you able to say no freely
without guilt? If not then figure out why, maybe
you’re a people pleaser or maybe you’re relating
to someone who is punishing if s/he doe not get
their way.

I-

INSTINCT is the gut feeling about a person that
indicates if a person is safe for you. For many
reasons we are drawn to and repelled by certain
people. Trust your gut.

M- MANAGE your resources of time and energy.

Be realistic with yourself and others about what
you can give and what others can expect of you.