Daughters of Promise November/December 2014 - Page 12

MY PURPOSE Let my prayer be not to be delivered, but let my concern be for your name that your name be glorified, Lord, glorify your name through me. Let my goal be not for comfort, but let my pursuit be: to be conformed to the image of your son, the likeness of your holy son. I am ready to meet you in the air but am I ready to suffer for you? Give me strength for whatever I face. I am ready, Lord, to die for You, but am I ready to take my cross and to live for you, following you? No one can hinder what you plan to do in my life but me! Heaven is my home and this life is more than what I can see! Let my aim be, not the taste of pleasure, but let my desire be, to be filled with the Spirit of love, of power and self-discipline. Let my request be, to know Christ and to know the power of his resurrection and to know the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings. Let your name be glorified through me. (Scripture Songs at www.singthekjv.org) Later I had the idea to set chapters of Scripture to music. This was such a blessing to me because what I needed was truth when Satan came with so many lies and doubts and fears. We can have so many negative thoughts that spiral down into despair. I found when I was at work, that because I’d set scripture to music, those tunes would play in my head with the words cleansed my mind and brought me hope. When we have a crisis, we’re trying to figure out the situation, and why people are doing things, and how it’s going to turn out, and it takes us down negative thought patterns. There were times I just had to decide, “I’m not going to try to figure this out anymore.” Scripture says, some knowledge is too wonderful, or high, for us. I’d been trying to figure out, “What went wrong?” and analyzing everything, and I got to the point where I said, “God, I don’t have to know all that.” But when I had the word washing and washing over me, God used these scriptures to teach me what the truth is. The TRUTH is, that his lovingkindness is better than life. That’s truth. It blessed me so much to be able to take discouraging thoughts captive through the power of the word. This music is freely available at www.singthekjv.org. I chose the pseudonym “Tirzah Joy” for “Tears of Joy” because I longed to have joy in my life even through my tears. When I prayed for the Gospel to be true in my life, I asked God for the sign of joy. I’m an optimist by nature, but having joy while a broken home stretched out in front of me was beyond anything I could manufacture or fabricate. And yet, God slowly began a process of anointing me with joy. After that point of full surrender, there is another journey from grieving rejection, grieving loss, grieving broken dreams until we reach a place of joy. So I want to encourage you that if you are on that emotional journey, to be patient with yourself. I still deeply grieved my loss for several years where -12- I was very raw, and even though God was doing a work in me, it was definitely a process. Surrender doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain. Jesus himself was a man of sorrows; after surrender we still feel pain, but it’s no longer a despairing, “I cannot go on,” but there’s a peace and rest in it as we find him to be our all in all. As Ps 27:14 says, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” You may feel like I did, that you can never find joy after what you suffered but I tell you that GOD Is So Faithful and he will absolutely fulfill his word in your life! The joy of the Lord will be your strength! You cannot trust him too much! I found that as my mind gained understanding about the ways of God, my heart slowly began to believe in God’s goodness. JOURNAL ENTRY, AUGUST 10, 2006: Lord, I couldn’t believe in the benefits of brokenness except you had gone that way. I wouldn’t have accepted the superiority of suffering except you lived it first. I couldn’t have embraced the honor in submission unless you showed me. I couldn’t have treasured the experience of unreturned love unless you had first loved me, while I was yet a Sinner unrepentant. I couldn’t have endured the cross for the joy set before me, or retained hope for a bigger plan, but you...you have made all the difference. JOURNAL ENTRY, MARCH 29, 2013: I enter in by the Door and lay face up, my bed an altar and myself the living sacrifice. I complete the spiritual transaction: I give God all of me, and He in return gives me sonship, his love, his Spirit, supplies all my needs according to his riches in Jesus, and everything I need for life and godliness. He gives, gives, gives, all in exchange for the little payment of all of me. Not so valuable to some, but he places a price tag on me that was worth dying for. I would be a fool not to give myself to such a Master, but he doesn’t call me servant; he calls me friend. I love him. A TRIBUTE TO GOD’S FAITHFULNESS There were times when I didn’t want to live. I prayed, “Lord, I understand that to die is gain. But teach me today what it means, that to live is Christ.” But it was freeing to set aside all my own agenda, and seek the Lord’s. And this story wouldn’t be complete without me telling you what great things God has done for me. I didn’t seek material success and yet God has provided amply for me. I live in a wonderful