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Darkside
Those of us in the lifestyle clearly
understand that in BDSM relationships all
participants are legal adults who
consent to guidelines and limits, which
most of the time are talked through by the
partners; everyone understands that the
activities are sexual and are of a BDSM
nature. There is no deviant activity in this
world that includes consent and com-
mon understanding – quite the opposite
I would say. However there will be those
who argue that BDSM ‘legitimises’ abusive
behavior.
Now this last argument comes only from
those who never researched the lifestyle
but only tagged it in a way based on their
beliefs. BDSM is actually completely
against abuse and in our community we
feel there is no place for individuals with
abusive tendencies. At the end of the day
an abusive person can’t be a Dom as they
can’t control their own urges and don’t
Darkside • Issue 3
respect others desires. In BDSM we care
and respect each other and even if your
kink is not my kink, your kink is ok. This is
an old saying in the fetish community that
indicates that we don’t accept every single
one. Your kink has to be OK.
What causes abuse is not people having
consensual sex. What causes abuse is
people who don’t respect boundaries and
there is very small tolerance (none in fact)
for those who break this rule. It is actually
a huge subject of discussion how to
identify predators who don’t really care
for BDSM relationships but only satisfy
sick and twisted fantasies. Therefore it
is hard to believe that BDSM encourag-
es abusive behavior. Going into a BDSM
scene, both participants have communi-
cated their desires and know what they
hope to gain from the experience.
It is my belief that there is no such thing