Common grandparenting pitfalls to avoid
Spend quality time with your grandkids
Building Great Relationships
Grandparents are often the family historians , and can add a rich sense of family tradition to a child ’ s life . Regular contact with grandparents can teach children positive attitudes towards aging and help them develop skills to enhance their own lifelong learning .
By Jill Wisdom
As grandparents we want to make the most of the precious family time we get to spend with our grandchildren . Whether you ’ re a full-time grandparent , a step-grandparent , or a long distance grandparent living thousands of miles away , you can find ways to strengthen family ties .
A good first step to a long and successful relationship with your grandchild is to establish some ground rules with your son or daughter :
• Be clear about what role you want to have in your grandchild ’ s life . How often you want to babysit , for example , or whether you ’ d like to be included in events such as school functions .
• Talk with parents about their rules . Consistency is important for kids , so know the behavior limits your grandchild has to follow at home and maintain the rules when he or she is with you .
• Enforce any agreed upon punishment for bad behavior , whether it ’ s a “ time out ” or loss of privileges , for example .
• Baby proof your home . It may have been a number of years since you had young children in your home , so it ’ s important to check with your grandchild ’ s parents about ways to baby proof your home to ensure they ’ re comfortable leaving the child with you .
Common grandparenting pitfalls to avoid
To avoid potential conflict within your family , try to avoid these common grandparenting pitfalls :
• Trying to be the parent . As much as you might want to tell your children how to raise your grandkids , it ’ s not your role . Respect the parenting decisions your children make for your grandkids .
• Buying your grandkids ’ affection . It ’ s tempting for grandparents to shower their grandkids with gifts , but check with the child ’ s parents before you buy more toys . Maybe substitute some of your gift giving with doing activities with your grandchild that you both love and will build memories .
• Overindulging the first few grandchildren and then not being able to repeat it as additional grandchildren come along . This can cause resentment from your own children who have kids later in life . Remember that whatever you do for your first grandchild ( college fund , beach vacations , trips to the zoo ) will set a precedent that you ’ ll need to repeat for every other grandchild .
• Ignoring boundaries . A grandparent who won ’ t enforce limits and gives in to their grandchild ’ s every whim can infuriate parents . By allowing your grandkids to misbehave , overindulge in candy and junk food , or ignore bedtimes , for example , you ’ re only encouraging unhealthy behavior and making their parents ’ job even harder .
Spend quality time with your grandkids
The best grandparenting activities flow naturally from the interests of both the grandparents and the grandchildren .
28 DALLAS COUNTY Living Well Magazine | NOVEMBER / DECEMBER 2016