Crown of Beauty Magazine The Brave Issue - Page 31

Advice for Singles from Jessa...

Jessa: God is a kind Father, and He delights in giving good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). My mom tells that story that when she gave her life to Christ in her teen years, she knew she would have to break up with her boyfriend who didn't care anything about her newfound faith. Though she knew it was the right thing to do, that didn't make it easy. But a wise, older Christian counseled her by questioning, "Michelle, do you trust Jesus to take you to heaven when you die?" Of course her answer was "Yes!" He responded, "Then don't you think you can trust him with your love life?" Hearing this story many times throughout my younger years really made me stop and think. If we can trust Christ with something so big as our soul's salvation, how much more should we be able to entrust to him the cares of our daily life. That's not to say that we can box ourselves in our homes and expect God to drop our Prince Charming through a hole in the roof, but that also doesn't mean that we have to wear ourselves out hunting down a man! A great book on this subject that I read in my teen years is called "It's (not that) Complicated" by Ana Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin. I'd recommend that all single gals give it a read.

Crown of Beauty: What is something about Ben that you absolutely adore, even more so now than when you first started courting?

Jessa: Of course the first thing we should look for in a potential suitor is a strong relationship with Christ. Is he growing spiritually? Other questions might be "Who are his friends? Who does he look up to, and who are his role models? Something that was very important to me was to observe the way a guy handled stress. Was he easily angered?” The Bible warns us to "Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare" (Proverbs 22:24- 25).

We cannot expect to change a man, nor should we think that character issues will fade away in a day and that a lazy, self-centered man will somehow morph into husband of the year! Not to say that a prospective husband must be perfect, but you will know a tree by its fruits (Matthew 7). This isn't a test for prospective husbands only. Likewise, we must examine ourselves and see that we are waking in holiness and growing in our relationship with Jesus.

Things that I loved about Ben before marriage have only grown sweeter since! He is a tender, caring and patient man, and he loves the Lord with all his heart. His role models are heroes of the Christian faith. I see his dedication to prayer and study of the Word. We listen to sermons together often, and he loves to read me excerpts from his latest theology books. He has a genuine love for people and heart for evangelism. Most of all, he encourages me to draw closer to Christ, and that is the epitome of true love!

"Who can find a virtuous woman?

Her worth is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10)