Refusing to let God have His way, I went to work at a bar to make ends meet. Bulimia and exercise became routine. But God wasn’t finished. He wasn’t going to leave me where I was.
On a rare booking, I met two Christian models who shared similar stories of running from or questioning God. Their transparency comforted me. They encouraged me to confess my doubts to God and tell Him I was searching for truth. I ached for what they had.
Desperate for more, I went to a popular Bible-believing church to get counsel from a pastor. As I confessed everything to him, he steered me back to Scripture with nurturing words. Just as the two models had, he urged me to get honest with God.
It took me getting honest with myself before I was able to get honest with God. I came to the place where I realized that I didn’t deserve God’s favor or His heaven. I read John 3 and Romans 6:23 over and over. I was a sinner and a hypocrite. But it was the best realization I could have had—after all, a person can’t be found if he doesn’t know he is lost. So, as a broken, humbled nineteen-year-old, I prayed to receive this gift of God—to be born again—and He changed the course of my life forever.
My life as a professional model had new purpose: My industry became my ministry. I shared Christ on castings and bookings with models, makeup artists and photographers. Many seeds were planted and some received Jesus as Savior. Feeling God tug on my heart about leaving the business to attend Bible college, I obeyed, expecting never to re-enter the field of fashion again.
The Bible says in Isaiah 55:9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I know this is true because I never expected Him to call me back into the industry.
I’ve been modeling professionally now for more than 20 years. God has used this business to teach me truths from His Word and has given me a platform to share these truths all over the world—in and out of the fashion industry.
Tell us a little about modesty. Your book, Fashioned by Faith, covers this topic in great depth, but if you were to just share one golden nugget of advice about modesty, and why girls should dress modestly, what would you say?
Modesty is a way for us to express our integrity in the way we dress. Specifically, by avoiding tight-fitting clothes and those that lack coverage.
There are scores of ramifications brought on by immodesty, and I have seen the research (behind it). Eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, and a bad reputation just to name a few.
You are an amazing example of how a young woman can be both trendy and modest at the same time! Is there a specific product or clothing item in your closet that helps you pull this whole modesty thing off in style? What are some items that every girl should have?
I have some basic standards, yes, but the key is creativity—which of course is at the crux of fashion. But the way to pulling it all off, is realizing the importance of modesty in the first place so not to be derailed by the latest fashion. Second, is using the tool of layering. Whether it be a scarf to cover some cleavage or a layering tank to hide an exposed middle. Knowing the objective and the solutions is how to make it work and make it look great in the process!
Something I personally admire about you, is the fact that you dare to combine two very seemingly "opposite" topics like fashion and faith, or modesty and modeling! Surely you've gotten some negative responses about your desire to restore the things of this world, and take them back for the Kingdom of God. What is the hardest thing you've faced in doing this? It must be hard to stand up against popular opinions about these issues in both the world and the church! Any stories to share about that?
Haha, many. But one that quickly came to mind is when I was working in Athens, Greece. The outfit was a pair of silver pants and a sheer white top. I took one look at the shirt and wondered where the rest of it was. Realizing I had received the total ensemble, I proceeded to the dressing room.
When I returned, the wardrobe stylist said she could see my bra through the top, and I should take it—my bra—off. Just to show her it was too sheer, I did. I went back into the dressing room and removed my bra. I peeked out to make sure the male photographer wasn’t around, then exited the room. I knew for sure she would agree the shirt was entirely too sheer to be worn alone. Imagine my surprise when she loved the look and told me to go to the set! I didn’t move and told her I would not wear it this way. She said in broken English, “Bra no good, but no bra, okay.” Without saying another word, I turned and went back to my dressing area. I took the top off, hung it on its hanger, and carried it out to her. When she saw me, she yelled at me in half Greek, half English to put the top back on and get to the set. I shoved the wrinkled top into her hands and without thinking, replied emphatically, “You wear it!”
I was furious and unafraid of the stylist, and she knew it. As I gathered my things to leave, the British makeup artist intervened. “You can wear it with something underneath if it makes you more comfortable.” The stylist left the room without a response and never returned. So, having made my point, I returned to the dressing room.
Sure, it would have been easier to go with the flow and shoot the top (sheer as it was) how they wanted it. And chances are, no one in America would have seen it. But my Father would have seen it. I heard once that character is who you are when no one is looking. In this case, we can add, “when no one from America is looking.”
What advice do you have for a girl who wants to go into modeling? How can she keep her heart pure and focused on Christ, while still having fun with the clothes and all the fun, girly things?
Well, first of all, it’s a very cutthroat business. It’s definitely not all fun and games. And unfortunately, it destroys a lot of women. I wouldn’t be in the industry if I didn’t believe God had called me back into it after Bible college. Even then - believing I was prepared spiritually and emotionally to handle the stress related to the industry, it’s been extremely hard at times. The key for me has been holding it loosely. I’ve been willing to hang it up and walk away from it if at any point I felt God wanted my career to end. That’s the advice I’d give another…hold it loosely.