I am a recovering addict. Not to liquor, cigarettes, or even coffee. My drug of choice?
I long to feel “seen” -- for someone to call me out: “You. Out of all the others, I choose YOU.” I’ve been willing to do anything for this drug that makes me feel so full for the briefest moment, only to leave me emptier than it found me.
And yet I’ve felt invisible despite my best attempts.
Ten years ago I slipped through the glass doors of my local community college. As the heavy door silently swung closed behind me, the door of my charmed childhood was also falling shut.
Like any teen girl, I spent endless hours standing off with myself in the mirror, studying the unnecessary curves, the sharp angles, the girl who never looked quite the way I imagined she should. I wasn’t blind; I saw the way guys treated girls who were beautiful. As those girls were seen and chosen, I stood to the side waiting for my turn to come. As I waited, my heart fell to its knees day after day, confident that even in the hiddenness, my heavenly Father chose me.
Ten years ago I met the man of my dreams. His milk chocolate eyes drank in the room around him, alighting on me for too brief a moment. The world stopped when he saw me, the voices faded, it was just him and me in the room, like the moment I’d dreamed of.
Tiffany's story continued on page 37. <3
The God Who Sees
by Tiffany Dawn
You Are a Miracle!
by Deanna Bridges
When I would hear the Gospel message that Jesus died for my sins, I typically tuned out and did not listen. As a mature believer, I thought that message was only needed for new believers. I had convinced myself that I fully understood what Christ had done for me. And so, during my study of the Word (which I love), I would focus on reading and understanding everything else other than the simple truth that Jesus died for my sins.
Books like Romans and Hebrews were not in my top 10 list, until last year (2013). These books are filled with words that I just did not get, like atoning sacrifice, redemption, appropriation and remission of sins. I would quickly flip to the books that were “easy” for me. Even though I had received Salvation and had undergone a great transformation, I was clueless to the NEW ME.
My desire to please Father God, to be closer to Him, and to have a full understanding of His Word (I’m sure you desire the same or you would not be reading this), is what I call a God-desire. Rest assured….He fulfills Godly desires. It is a promise. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
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