I survived the pinterest apocalypse
"Have you ever heard of Pinterest?" Six small and seemingly innocent words. Who knew that they could have such a dangerous impact on my life? Who knew that once those words were spoken, my life would change forever? I would go from being a happy, busy, socializing person to ... this.
But I suppose I should start from the beginning. It all started a couple of years ago.
The tragedy began on a cool day in mid-October. It was that perfect time of year where it's just cold enough for a jacket, but still warm enough to be outside without having to worry about icicles growing on your nose. In other words: perfect bonfire weather. And that's just where I happened be that night. The exact details are a blur, but one moment stands clear in my mind. I was standing in a group, innocent and unknowing of what was to come. We were laughing and having a grand ole time, when that life-altering phrase was spoken. "Have you ever heard of Pinterest!?" my friend Winifred suddenly asked (her name has been changed to protect her identity, of course).
"No, what is it?" I replied, curious.
"It's basically like an online bulletin board where you pin your favorite stuff. Sounds weird, I know, but it's awesome. Want me to send you an invite?" It did sound weird, and I didn't really think I would like it, but I figured sure, why not? Winifred promised to send me an email invite later on, and the conversation was soon changed. Little did I know the danger that loomed ahead. A few uneventful days passed before I decided to check my email.
Sitting there amongst spam mail promising to find me my soulmate, something caught my eye: "You've Been Invited To Join Pinterest!" If only lightning would've struck my computer at that moment. If only a swarm of angry beavers would've broken into my room and carried away my computer. If only Marty McFly would've poofed in from the future and warned me of my oncoming fate. Sadly, none of those things happened.
Instead, I clicked on the link and was instantly transported into another dimension known as ... Pinterest. I was dazzled. Mystified. Enchanted. Before my eyes swam dozens of pictures, all of them even more impressive than the one before it. Did I die and go to heaven!? I wondered as I scrolled slowly down the page, taking in every detail with wide eyes and an open mouth. Gazillion-jillion-dollar wedding dresses, intricate crafts made from toilet paper tubes, and triple-layer-calorie-laden desserts. Perfectly-put-together outfits, tutorials on how to do your hair in less than 17 seconds, and a whole board dedicated to Liam Hemsworth. Cat pictures galore and perfect makeup. "I'm finally home," I managed to say as a single tear of joy made it's way down my cheek. I felt as if my whole life was sitting in front of me now, ready for me to plan and organize and dream. And that's exactly what I did. Minutes passed like seconds. Hours passed like minutes. Before I knew it, I had planned not only every detail of my imaginary wedding, but I also had planned the honeymoon, the house we would move into, and every meal I would make for the first 50 years of our marriage. The only thing missing in my future life was my husband.
Been Invited To Join Pinterest!" If only lightning would've struck my computer at that moment. If only a swarm of angry beavers would've broken into my room and carried away my computer. If only Marty McFly would've poofed in from the future and warned me of my oncoming fate. Sadly, none of those things happened.
Instead, I clicked on the link and was instantly transported into another dimension known as ... Pinterest. I was dazzled. Mystified. Enchanted. Before my eyes swam dozens of pictures, all of them even more impressive than the one before it. Did I die and go to heaven!? I wondered as I scrolled slowly down the page, taking in every detail with wide eyes and an open mouth. Gazillion-jillion-dollar wedding dresses, intricate crafts made from toilet paper tubes, and triple-layer-calorie-laden desserts. Perfectly-put-together outfits, tutorials on how to do your hair in less than 17 seconds, and a whole board dedicated to Liam Hemsworth. Cat pictures galore and perfect makeup. "I'm finally home," I managed to say as a single tear of joy made it's way down my cheek. I felt as if my whole life was sitting in front of me now, ready for me to plan and organize and dream. And that's exactly what I did. Minutes passed like seconds. Hours passed like minutes. Before I knew it, I had planned not only every detail of my imaginary wedding, but I also had planned the honeymoon, the house we would move into, and every meal I would make for the first 50 years of our marriage. The only thing missing in my future life was my husband.
Somewhere in those first few hours of my Pinning madness, my Mom had tried to save me. "Alyssa, are you gonna come eat dinner?" she asked, eying me with a look of concern in her eyes.
"Just leave some food out for me, I'll be fine," I managed to say, clicking furiously. "I just need to pin a few more outfits." 'A few more outfits' wasn't quite accurate. The deeper I got into Pinterest, the more work I discovered I needed to do. Some girl in Brazil had a board dedicated to her pet iguana's wardrobe, which meant that I needed one too. Never mind that I didn't even own an iguana. I was sure I would someday. After all, one of the house designs I had pinned had a room on the 4th story, which would be just perfect for my little reptilian friend
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