Creek Speak April 2017 - Page 29

Conspiring Conspiracies

By: Jeremy Bartley

The Mandela Effect

Berenstein vs. Berenstain. Looney Toons vs. Looney Tunes. Did Nelson Mandela die in prison in the 1980’s? There are quite a few people that stand on either side of this argument. One reason for these misconceptions could be accredited to poor memory, but is that true? Supporters of the Mandela Effect Theory believe that people have false memories of certain events, or spellings of fast food restaurants (Chick-Fil-A, for example) because they are alien space lizards, bouncing around parallel universes. Well, maybe not space lizards, but the parallel universe idea is true.

Forest Giants

Deep in the woods of just about any place that has trees or mountains, there lies a rumor of a humongous hairy beast. Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Yeti. No matter the name, the tale is always the same. The story of Bigfoot goes back longer than I’ve been alive (18 years, to be exact), and it just keeps adding new angles. An anonymous source has gone on record to tell us about their encounter with a sasquatch. “I saw a big hairy feller wandering through the woods. I wondered if it was my sister Bertha, and so I shouted for her, but then the monster just took off runnin’! Dang thing must’a been 8 feet tall!” After hearing this eerie story, Sasquatch seems to not be a creature to agitate. Please report any sightings of Sasquatch to your local congressman.