Creative Sacred Living Magazine May 2014 | Page 52

Creative Living

@ Renee Avard; for April 2014

“We don’t have to be finished to be whole.”
- Naomi Whittlin
Naomi shared this on her blog this week and it
literally hit the heck out of me when I read it.
I felt my heart skip a beat and I became flushed.
e
e Her
It was an awareness that needed to find its way
or
to me and in a big way and I did not even know
Out M
Find
it! I thought I had made it over the twenty-something
attitudes now that I am a thirty-something woman. But, it was as if nothing previously
had made that sort of an impact on me like this one did.
During my twenties, I was a very introverted, depressed soul. I would purposely
torture myself with weepy musical ballads, sappy television shows and emotionally
messy movies. After going through a divorce towards the beginning of this time
span, I felt quite hollow and full of so many bumps, holes and bruises, I felt that would
be my identity. So I fought it tooth and nail – in a not-so-great way. My solution was to
look for ways to fill the gaps, to fill the holes and to put myself back together again. I
sought it out in the form of faulty friendships, iffy relationships, unwise career moves
and misdirected fawning. I thought if I could just find the ‘it thing’ that would make me
feel complete, then I could somehow pull myself together and get over I am not
saying this path was not to be taken, because I believe it was in order for me to be
here for you all today, but it was certainly the easy way out.
The hard part is sticking it out and remaining to face issues head on. In my early 30s
I began coming into some amazing revelations concerning my plight to find the fillings
I needed. It was not out there. There was no way to find it in any place I were to look.
Was it that illusive? Quite the opposite. I had it already. And though I had been broken
open, I began to accept myself for who I am not for who I was. I realized that inside
my heart, head, mind, body and soul, I held the answers to completion. I found the
reasons behind those pitfalls, wounds and “broken” places.
I found my purpose and it did not involve perfection (which is a complete myth). It
involved perception. Once I began taking a look at my life through others’ eyes and
even my own, I was able to gain quite the amount of clarity. And here I am just
plugging along, knowing that I have figured out something major, this quote hits me
from out of the blue.