Creative Sacred Living Magazine May 2014 | Page 45

After experiencing the loss of my husband and son within a 20-month period, I could
have easily shut down in every way. I could have hidden my spirit, refused to take care
of my body, disconnected from my feelings, and put up a wall to the rest of the world.
But I believe there is an innate resiliency in our humanness that continuously calls us
to keep picking up the pieces, no matter how broken we feel. If we’re willing to listen to
that voice, whether it’s coming from within or from those who love us, we can gradually
come into our wholeness again, which never actually left in the first place.
Feeling & Giving Love After Tragedy
As I took those first painful steps into the harsh light of my reality after my husband
and son died, even amidst my deep longing and sadness, I felt a strong desire to feel
love and give love. I felt the need to get help for my aches and pains, and the need
for connection. Even in the very beginning of my grief experience it amazed me how I
could feel all of these things at once. This reminded me of the fullness of my spirit, and
I felt guided to keep reaching for more…more of what life had to offer. In that process
of re-entering the land of the living, I also needed to practice self-compassion and selflove. This is an important key to living wholeheartedly. It begins within.
If you have been through a heart-breaking loss, know that living a wholehearted life
is still always available to you. It is possible to live again, laugh again, feel love again,
and truly experience the fullness of life.
The opportunity begins with you. Are you nurturing yourself, being true to yourself,
practicing self-compassion? Remember, grieving is not about doing it perfectly – there
is no such thing. It’s an opportunity for self-discovery and being authentic to who you
are and what you need. By opening your heart to self-compassion, you are opening
your heart to embracing what is in front of you.
Approaching Wholeheartedness
There are so many ways to approach living wholeheartedly. I invite you to ask yourself
these questions: Am I practicing self-care? Am I being gentle with myself? Am I
honoring my truth? Am I judging myself too harshly? What am I afraid of? How can I
begin moving beyond that fear? What have I learned about myself through the grieving
process? What do I feel gratitude for?
You may wish to journal your responses to these questions. Really allow yourself the
time and space to think about them. Then ask yourself the question, “what would living
wholeheartedly mean to me?” This is something that can look differently for everyone.
Consider what it would look like for you personally.