Anyway, I have been complaining to anyone that would listen lately how pissed off I was with God.
Laurie was gone and I had no sign or intuition
that she was at peace with Him and safe in His arms in heaven.
I kept asking God for signs. At first I thought he was sending me wild turkeys as a sign.
Long story… but basically Laurie would have called me a turkey for even needing a sign in the first place.
So this morning, I started my morning the usual way. I sat in my chair with my pile of books;
devotional, bible, journal, and bible study.
I always start with prayer asking God for personal requests and then leading into asking for forgiveness and a clean heart, and finally asking for God to bless the time I was about to spend with Him. I specifically ask for Him to show me
exactly what He wanted me to learn and focus on for the day.
I started praying. Jesus interrupted me and said
“Wait, I have Laurie here for you.”
“You have Laurie there? She’s there? Laurie are you there?” Laurie responded with “Of course I am here! Where else would I be Goofy!”
I started sobbing. She went on to tell me that she’s been sending me flowers. She said not to call the new series of paintings “The Garden Series” because they weren’t… they were “Fields of Flowers”. She said they went on and on...
Laurie LOVED flowers!
One of the last things we did together was walk hand in hand in her Garden admiring the flowers and enjoying the fresh air and sun on our faces... She told me to stop mourning and get myself out of the mud.
She wanted me to start glorifying God.
She told me that whenever I felt lonely for her
to just look at the flowers she has sent me.
Then Jesus told me I needed to spend more time
listening to Him as opposed to speaking at Him.
I need to clarify something at this point.
I am a painter. I have until 3 weeks ago been painting strictly birds and trees.
The flowers that I recently started painting just happened. There was no thought involved at all!
I sat and just started seeing flowers on the canvas. My brush moved quickly outlining the different shapes…
and before I knew it, I was staring at my canvas completely covered with flowers.
So, you’d think the story stops there, right?
Well it doesn’t! I then went to my devotional and as always, I would randomly open to any page.
I felt God would choose what He wanted me to read. This is what it said:
“Be still and know that I am God. Your life has been tumultuous recently-
Your life has been tumultuous recently-
full of change and new responsibilities.
You have continued to spend time alone with Me.
You need to set aside time for listening to Me-
blocking out distractions
and reconnecting with me in the depths of your soul.”
The devotion goes on,
and you can read it in Sarah Young’s Jesus Today