Letting go has never been easy for me. But, really, who is it easy for? Whether it's that one person you cannot seem to move on from or an incident that shatters your world, moving forward, forgiving and letting go is where we all could use a cheerleader in our corner to give us that 'oomph' we need to implement those things.
I will admit, I have a tendency to wax poetic on past events, people, places, and things. And, to a point, that is fine. But there is that line where it's just counter-productive. The goal is to live in the now, not lost in the anticipation of the future or to be constantly thinking of the past. The 'should', the 'would' and the 'could' of my mind at times becomes so great that I beg for the mercy that only I can give to myself.
The absolution of my own mindset lies with me. No one else can crawl into my head and pull those thoughts out for me. The thing that I have been learning is : when the time for me is right, and life always lets me know the right time, letting go will seem easier and easier.
A lot of what I hold on to is the good stuff and even that in it's own right needs to be released. That does not mean loss. It does not mean I am going to loose out on the lessons, or the emotions. It simply means that I am giving my 'now' the attention it deserves.
As for the not-so-good stuff, these are the hardest for me to put down. For the longest time, especially in my twenties, I held on to so much pain and grief and lamented over the past that I was being robbed of my present. The worst part? I was the robber.
There is also the instance of letting go with forgiveness – of others or of self. I have had moments that I cannot believe I did, said, felt, etc and my anxiety literally kicks in and I feel so bad about myself and my
life as a whole. One of the best lessons I have learned out of this is: It's a bad moment, not a bad life. Life will let you know when it is time to release and forgive and just because it does not always happen overnight,
it does not mean that I am 'bad' because of it or because I am taking too long. This Life is my journey and howI learn and live is always the right timing.
When forgiveness and truly letting go of something happens, it is one of the most liberating and exquisite feelings in the world. This has happened to me recently and I felt like I was in the most clear body of water with waterfalls around me. I felt fresh, free and fantastic. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was really happening.
There are times when I would say that yes, I am done and moving on, but
not realy feel that. When I felt the release and the letting go and
forgiveness deep in my soul and within my heart recently, I knew three
things: I grew a little more and gained some amazing awareness -
and learned something valuable in the process.
@ Renee Avard May 2014
Renee's Thoughts Worth Catching